Him and Her
by the-booky-bookworm
Summary: She was beautiful. He was heart-breaking. She was cold. He was cruel. She was Lily. He was James. But she was Gryffindor and he was… Slytherin. And they absolutely loathed each other. AU
1. Prologue

**Prologue: First Year**

Lily giggled as she allowed her older sister Andromeda to kiss her on the forehead.

"Andy!" she protested, wriggling out of her hold. "Stop it!"

Andromeda Black gazed down into those brilliant green eyes with a twist in her heart. "Sorry," she murmured, brushing away the twist of fear that touched her whenever she wondered about what lay in store for her youngest sister.

The whistle blew, and Lily swung around eagerly. "We're going to be leaving soon, I have to go! Bye, Andy. Write to me loads and loads!"

"I promise," Andromeda said, smiling. "I'll even make an Unbreakable Vow if you want me to."

Lily tilted her head as though seriously considering it, then shook her head. "I don't think you should. I mean – "

"Come on!" Alice McKinnon, the girl who had been Lily's best friend practically since birth, hollered. "Quickly!"

Andromeda gave her youngest sister one last hug. "Be careful," she whispered. Then she stepped back, watching as the eleven-year-old danced blithely up the steps and out of sight. A few moments later a head of flaming hair appeared at the window. Lily and Alice waved furiously as the Hogwarts Express began pulling out of the station into a haze of steam. Narcissa, being a fifth-year prefect, had already said her goodbyes and boarded, while their oldest sister Bellatrix was currently on honeymoon with her new husband Rodolphus Lestrange.

Her grey eyes followed them until she could do so no more, then with a sigh Andromeda turned around.

And froze.

Her aunt, a striking woman in her forties she hadn't seen in years, was standing there watching her coolly and slightly derisively. She swallowed.

"Hello, Aunt Walburga."

"Andromeda," the woman returned. "What a pleasant surprise." Her words indicated that she thought the exact opposite.

The younger Black searched for something to say. "So, um… you are here to see off someone?"

Walburga's gaze narrowed. "Your cousin Sirius starts Hogwarts this year. The same as Delilah, I presume."

Andromeda remembered abruptly Sirius Black, the boy she had last seen as a young terror of nine years old and who had been every inch the arrogant Black even then. So he was the same age as Lily, was he? Dread clutched at her heart as she prayed that her sister and cousin would never cross paths. She was under no illusions about the type of people her family were.

She remembered that her aunt had asked her a question and nodded, a tad too late. Winifred seized upon the weakness.

"So how is Delilah?"

"_Lily _is fine," Andromeda said curtly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must go." She hurried away, uncaring that she was being rude.

Walburga Black watched her niece go and smiled.

Inside the Hogwarts Express, Lily and Alice had their textbooks open as they got an early start on the spells and charms they would be learning that year. The compartment was littered with Chocolate Frog wrappers.

"I don't get this," Alice said, squinting at _The Book of Spells (Grade One) _by Miranda Goshawk. "It says that you have to flick the wand, but when I flick – "

Suddenly a loud voice echoed through the train, cutting her off. "_We will be arriving at Hogwarts in five minutes. Please get dressed and leave your trunks on board as they will be collected later_."

Lily had changed into her black robes almost the moment she had got on board. Instead she looked out of the window as Alice changed, excitement leaping within her. She had had to wait behind as her three older sisters went to Hogwarts without her; but now here she was, with her wand tucked safely in her pocket, on her own way at last. It was dark outside but she could hear rain pitter-pattering on the roof.

Finally the great steam train drew to a stop. Lily and Alice waited dutifully until the older years had filed past first before inching out themselves.

"There you are!" Narcissa cried as she hurried up to them, the silver-and-green Slytherin prefect badge gleaming on her chest. "Dad would kill me if you got lost and fell under the train or something. Here, follow me."

The two girls followed her white-blonde head down the steps to the platform. Narcissa pointed at a huge, mountain-like man who was waving his arms over his head and bellowing.

"Bloody hell," Alice breathed. "Who is that?"

"That's Hagrid," Narcissa explained. "He's in charge of the first-years, so you go over there and wait with him. I have to organise the others." She ran off again.

Lily and Alice looked at each other. The former shrugged, so they fought against the flow of the crowd to get nearer to him. As she got closer Lily realised that he was shouting, "Firs' years over here! Firs' years over here!"

The bunch of first-years clustered around him shivered as the rain beat down heavier on their heads. Lily wrapped her cloak tighter around her, examining the faces of her fellow beginners. She frowned as she saw someone she recognised.

"Sirius?"

Even though it had been at least two years since she'd last seen him there was no mistaking the Black looks. His hair was a sleek inky mop, eyes heavy-lidded and dark grey. He, Bellatrix, Andromeda and his younger brother Regulus had always resembled each other. All of them had inherited the classic family looks. Meanwhile, although Narcissa and Lily shared the same delicate – verging on arrogant – face structure and icy good looks as their family, the former's hair was as pale as their Rosier mother's and the latter had fiery locks and green eyes that had come from their grandmother. She had been a Crabbe of impeccable breeding.

Sirius turned to her at her word and nodded once, briefly. "Delilah."

"It's Lily now," she corrected. The mask she wore when dealing with most members of her family fell automatically into place. She hated it because it was a trait of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, but one that she found undeniably useful.

"McKinnon, isn't it?" Sirius was asking, looking Alice up and down with contempt evident on his face. "I remember you. Half-blood?"

Alice nodded hesitantly. Instantly he let out a bark of laughter.

"Really, Lily? Still hanging out with people who are practically Mudbloods?"

"Shut up," she snapped. Alice's blue eyes had gone wide and round in shock. Lily grabbed her best friend's arm and tugged her back, away from where Sirius was standing.

"Ignore him," she said gently. "He's just a stuck- up little snob, okay?"

Alice blinked back something that looked suspiciously like a tear. "Who was he, Lily?"

She hesitated, wanting to lie, but knowing she couldn't. "That was Sirius. He's my… cousin."

"Your cousin," the other girl repeated. "A Black." A self-mocking laugh. "Well, I should have known. A half-blood can't possibly be good enough for the pureblooded daughter of generations of Blacks, can she?"

"Alice!" Lily said fiercely. "Listen to me. "You're my best friend, and yes I know that my family don't approve of you – except Andy, anyway – but I don't care. I'll always be there for you, understand?"

Alice gave her a watery smile and nodded. The two girls climbed into a small rowing boat, taking care to pick one as far from Sirius as possible. He appeared to have forgotten about them since he was talking and laughing loudly with three other boys.

Another boy and girl climbed into the same boat. Lily looked up at them curiously. The boy was tall and lanky, with brown hair and blue eyes, while the girl was a blonde like Alice.

"Hi, I'm Frank Longbottom," the boy introduced himself. He smiled nervously at them. "Can we sit here?"

"Sure!" Lily said brightly. "And who are you?"

"Arabella Figg," the girl said shyly.

Conversation stalled as the boat abruptly set off without any visible means. The rain had stopped by this time, and a thousand flickering lights shone as Lily gazed hungrily upon Hogwarts Castle. This was to be her home for the next seven years, and she'd be damned if she allowed her _family _to ruin it.

"I was thinking Gryffindor," Frank said as the boat continued to rock on its way. "You know, because of Dumbledore being in it and all." Once his initial bashfulness had faded, he had turned out to be an enthusiastic and fun-loving person. So was Arabella, although she was slightly more reserved. The four of them were discussing which Houses they wanted to be Sorted in to.

"That's a good choice," Alice agreed. "But what about Ravenclaw? It's for the clever ones!"

"True," Frank conceded. "I guess I don't really mind where I'm Sorted, as long as it's not Slytherin." He shuddered exaggeratedly. "I don't think I could _live _with myself if I was Sorted into Slytherin!"

Lily looked down. Every single member of her family for centuries had been Sorted into Slytherin, a House which her new friends obviously despised. She felt a sudden comforting hand on her back and looked over at Alice, smiling. Those blue eyes were telling her that even if Lily was Sorted into Slytherin, they would always be friends.

The boats stopped at a small pier and they clambered out. Hagrid shepherded them up to the huge front doors and inside, the wet and bedraggled first-years were told to wait and try to make themselves look presentable.

Lily threw her waterlogged mane of hair over her shoulder. There were butterflies in her stomach, even if she didn't want to admit it. She was going to have to walk out in front of hundreds of people and see the horrified expressions on her friends' faces as the Sorting Hat roared out _Slytherin! _

Nerve-wracking, to say the least.

Then the doors to the antechamber swung open and the first-years streamed out.

Lily felt hundreds of pairs of eyes drilling into her but resolutely kept her head high, face blank. She quickly glanced at the Slytherin table. Narcissa was there already chivvying people to move up and make space. The blonde raised her eyes for a fraction of a second and nodded encouragingly at her sister.

Finally they stopped in front of the stool with the Sorting Hat. Lily stared at it in fascination. It was bent over and moth-eaten, nothing special, but she knew it had the power to determine where she would spend the next years of her life.

The beaky-nosed professor who had introduced herself as the Deputy Headmistress McGonagall unfurled a long scroll.

"Acerman, Colin!"

"_Ravenclaw_!"

"Alphard, Juliet!"

"_Hufflepuff_!"

Lily tuned out the cheering that occurred whenever a House's name was called. She was a B; not long now.

"Black, Delilah!"

The Great Hall fell silent in anticipation as the youngest daughter of the illustrious Cygnus Black walked calmly up to the stool. Professor McGonagall jammed it on Lily's head.

Almost instantly the Sorting Hat opened its mouth. "_Sly – "_

"No!" Lily thought desperately. "Please, I don't want to be Slytherin!"

To her surprise a small voice spoke in her ear, like the whining of a mosquito.

"You don't want to be Slytherin? Even when your blood cries out for it?"

"I don't care about my blood," she said mentally. "I don't want people to think I'm some kind of, of… blood purist!"

There was a pause, then the Hat spoke once more. "Interesting. You are cunning, conniving and prideful, and you have the makings of a fine Slytherin, but there is a courage in you which means that if you refuse Slytherin I must place you in – "

"_Gryffindor_!"

Instead of the cheering which usually followed the Hat's pronouncement, there was a dead silence. Lily cracked her eyelids open.

Nearly everyone looked dumbstruck, Narcissa's mouth open in astonishment. Had they really heard correctly? Had a _Black _just been Sorted into _Gryffindor_?

Apparently. Lily placed the Hat back on its stool and scurried to the table decorated with scarlet and gold. She slid into place beside Scott August who had been Sorted before her. For the rest of the Sorting she did her best to ignore the furious glares she could feel aimed her way from her sister's table.

Alice McKinnon, Arabella Figg and Frank Longbottom were also all Sorted in Gryffindor, to her pleasure. The Hall seemed to suck in a breath when Sirius Black was called directly after her but he swaggered up and was placed immediately in Slytherin. As he walked past her on his way to his new table he shot her a glance, as if to say that she had no idea what she was missing.

Lily also discovered the names of her cousin's new friends. James Potter was a tall, skinny boy with wild black hair and hazel eyes, from a distinguished pureblood family. Next was Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. All of them were placed in Slytherin.

Finally the Sorting came to an end, and the plates filled up with food. Lily dug in hungrily. Beside her, her companions chattered.

"I'm Muggleborn," Arabella said brightly. "I had no clue I was magic until I got the letter – my parents thought it was an April Fools' joke at first!"

They laughed. "I've always known I was a wizard," Frank said. "Couldn't wait to get here. Pass me the potatoes, would you, Lily?"

Lily looked up at him. He was smiling at her with no hint that he was about to denounce her for belonging to a family long steeped in the Dark Arts. With a rush of relief, she did as he had asked.

"Oh, Lily, I wanted to ask you," Arabella said. "Why didn't anyone cheer for you when you got Sorted?"

There was a sudden silence in their corner of the table. Of course Arabella, being Muggleborn, would have no idea of the uproar Lily had just caused by being the first Black ever to not be in Slytherin. Worse, she was in Gryffindor. The two houses were mortal enemies.

Alice shot Lily a look and jumped in to explain. "Oh, it's nothing really. It's just that everyone thought Lily would be in another house since all her sisters were in it."

"And that's where she _should_ be," a voice cut in nastily. Lily turned to look at the pretty brunette girl a few metres away who was currently glaring at her in disgust. Kylie Brown, she remembered.

"I mean," Kylie continued, "everyone knows the Blacks can't be trusted. She'll end up going back to her royal pureblood family and betray all the rest of us – "

"Shut up!" Lily snarled. She was aware of people staring, but for her every iota of her immense concentration was focussed on the sneering girl in front of her. She curled her lip.

"You don't know anything about me," Lily said dangerously quietly. "You're so narrow-minded that you don't think a bloody _Black _could ever think about anything except themselves. Well, you know what? I am a Black, and I'm in Gryffindor, because I belong here. And nobody will tell me that I don't, least of all _you_."

She looked back at her food in clear dismissal. Kylie seemed to be lost for words, gaping at Lily in clear shock. The redhead drained her goblet of pumpkin juice and tugged on one of Alice's golden locks.

"You done yet?"

"Nearly," Alice said. She polished off her plate and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Frank hissed. "You'll get caught!"

"Relax," Lily said. "Alice and I are just going to wander round the school for a bit."

"But you'll get lost," Arabella pointed out.

"No, we won't. Lily's sister Andromeda drew her a map," Alice said, as Lily produced it with a flourish. The two of them waved goodbye and ducked into one of the smaller doorways that led off the Hall.

When they had gone Arabella leaned closer to Frank. "What was that all about? Why was she yelling at Lily?"

Frank sighed and prepared to explain. "Well, her family…"

He stopped abruptly. He had just seen two figures stealthily sneak out after Lily and Alice. Their identities were unmistakeable.

Whatever reason Sirius Black and James Potter had for following the girls out of the Hall, it could not be a good one.

"This is the corridor to the Potions dungeons," Lily murmured. She was whispering, since the echoes bounced easily around the stone walls and floor of the passageway. Alice nodded in response.

"The Slytherin common room is down in the dungeons too, isn't it?" she whispered.

"Andy said it's under the lake," Lily replied. The two girls skipped over the entrance to the dungeons and carried on. The light from their wands illuminated the piece of parchment with its crude outline of the school.

"Well, if it isn't my dear blood traitor cousin and the half-blood," a voice said. Instantly Lily whirled around, her emerald eyes widening. Sirius Black and James Potter were standing only a few metres away, both of them smirking. She repressed the urge to take a step backwards.

"What are you doing here?" She addressed herself to her cousin, not knowing the other boy apart from a few pureblood functions she had seen him at several years before.

"We could ask you the same question," Sirius said. "This is the way to the _Slytherin _common room, Lily, or are you already gaining the thickness of your fellow Gryffindors?"

His voice was deceptively calm and even. Lily matched his tone, knowing that in their family soft words were always the prelude to a shouting match. She had witnessed it first-hand in her parents enough times.

"What of you, Sirius? Has the cowardice of the Slytherins infected _you _yet?"

"It is self-preservation, not cowardice," he corrected. "Merely displaying that we Slytherins rely on our brains, not brawn. And how do you think our family will react once I write to them about the results of the Sorting?"

Involuntarily Lily winced. Her parents would be beyond furious. Visions of the Howler that would be gracing her soon swam before her eyes, along with the threats of disownment and assorted punishments. Even Andromeda had been in Slytherin! Maybe getting into Gryffindor was a bit too far? Sirius saw his advantage and pressed it.

"See, you know I'm right. And if they don't flat-out disinherit you – "

"Enough!"

The voice came from Alice. Lily blinked and swung around to look at her best friend, who was glaring at Sirius, her eyes narrowed.

"That's _enough_," she snapped. "Lily belongs in Gryffindor, alright? She isn't some high-and-mighty blood snob like you, and thank God for that!"

"She's betrayed the family!" Sirius roared.

Lily found her voice. "And so what if I have? It wasn't all that much of a _family _anyway!" she screamed back.

His grey eyes burned as he strode closer to her. "Now all everyone will be talking about is how a Black got into bloody Gryffindor!"

"I don't care!" she snarled straight back. Once ignited, her temper had always been formidable, and she stood until they were face-to-face. James – who had still said nothing – and Alice had faded into the background for her. All she could concentrate on was her roaring anger.

"I'll do as I damn well please, Sirius, and I'll thank you to keep out of my business!"

"You're a Black, like it or not, so you are my business!"

"WHAT IS GOING ON?"

Lily and Sirius sprang apart. A tall seventh-year prefect with a Ravenclaw badge was standing beside them, his wands out. The boy who had interrupted the shouting match looked them up and down.

"First-years," he snorted contemptuously. "Wandered off and got lost, did you?"

"Mind your own business, Prewitt," Sirius said arrogantly. Prewitt narrowed his eyes.

"Five points from Slytherin for disrespect, Black. And make that another five for arguing. As for you," he turned to face Lily, "hey, aren't you that Black who got sorted into Gryffindor?"

She nodded, trying to look as nonchalant as possible.

"Five from Gryffindor too for arguing. Now get back to your common rooms." He left, his footsteps clanging on the stone floor.

The four of them waited until he had gone. Then Lily glanced back at Alice.

"Come on, we'd better go. We start classes tomorrow."

Alice nodded. Lily took a step forward, trying to skirt round the side of James Potter. He hadn't a said in all this time, preferring to watch them fight with disconcerting hazel eyes, and something about him put her on edge. She didn't want to get any nearer him than necessary.

Then suddenly she fell, sprawling out onto the flags, the wind knocked out of her. Sirius burst into laughter. Immediately Lily jumped to her feet and spun around.

"What?"

She saw that Potter had stuck his leg out and tripped her up. The hand holding her wand lifted, a spell on her lips, but Sirius eyed her.

"You thinking about cursing James, cousin? Go on then. Prove to us just how Slytherin you are. Well, what are you waiting for?"

Lily glanced at Alice. The blonde was looking at her, expression just as angry, but she mouthed something: _Don't do it_. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of proving him wrong.

So Lily took a deep breath and lowered her wand. "Quick, Alice," she said tightly. "Let's go before I do something I'll regret."

"See you later," James said, speaking for the first time, the curl of his mouth mocking. His voice made her want to run. She walked off slowly, Alice by her side, steps forcedly slow.

Something told her this was far from over.


	2. One: The Invitation

**AN: Sorry it's short! Please review xx and thank you to everyone who followed**

**Chapter One: The Invitation**

**_Seventh Year_**

"_Lumos_," Lily murmured. The tip of her wand started to glow and she held it aloft, passing it over the crevices of the corridor she was in.

Patrolling was one of the more savoury parts of Head Girl duty. Lily enjoyed it, the three hours or so of alone time she got several times a week just to think . It wasn't particularly strenuous either. By now she had a solid knowledge of all the secret parts to Hogwarts most students didn't know about, and all the shortcuts significantly lessened the time it took to get to lessons.

Ah, Head Girl. Almost automatically Lily brushed her fingers over the shiny red badge with 'HG' inscribed in gold on it. She'd wanted to be Head Girl from the moment she'd heard of the position. Now all her hard work and spotless record paid off.

Next to be patrolled was the Charms corridor, so Lily made a right turn and went down it. So far it had been a quiet night. Classes started tomorrow after half-term so everyone was either in bed or finishing off last-minute homework.

_Nearly _everyone, Lily corrected herself as she heard a very curious – yet sadly, by now recognisable – noise being emitted from a broom cupboard to her right. She rolled her eyes and the doors burst open with a flick of her wand.

"Alright, out!"

The grunting and moans carried on before abruptly ceasing. As her eyes passed over the cupboard's inhabitants her expression first turned sour then shocked.

"Brown! What the hell are you doing in there with _Potter_?"

Kylie Brown and James Potter stumbled out, giggling and righting their robes. Lily snarled under her breath. Trust Potter to be in a broom cupboard, because after all he seemed to live in the bloody things, but _Kylie Brown _of all people?

A burn of hatred started in her chest, as it always did whenever she set eyes on his messy jet-black hair and glinting hazel eyes. There was no denying he was handsome, but in her opinion the evil that lurked within completely destroyed the appeal.

Kylie Brown (not to mention the other females of Hogwarts) didn't seem to think so.

"Quiet, both of you!" Lily ordered.

Potter looked at her. "Hey there, Black," he said casually. "What's up?"

"Ten points from Slytherin for being out of bed after hours," she said crisply, ignoring what he had said. "Ten from Gryffindor for the same reason."

"That's hardly fair," he said calmly. While she was sure her anger could be read in the flickering depths of her eyes, his face gave nothing away. He had mastered the Black mask even better than she had.

"I mean," he carried on, "not that _you'd _understand, but we're actually having fun here. A concept you seem unable to grasp. Maybe you'd like to watch us and learn some tips?"

As if it was her cue, Kylie Brown grabbed him around the neck and pulled him down for a sloppy kiss. Lily aimed her wand.

"_Aguamenti_!"

A jet of water shot out, soaking both of them. She watched in satisfaction as they spluttered.

"Lily!" Kylie said furiously. "What did you do that for?"

"Because you are ignoring the Head Girl," Lily responded, although the real reason was that she hadn't been able to resist the temptation when faced with two of her least favourite people in Hogwarts? Besides, what had happened to all that anti-Slytherin rhetoric Kylie spouted? Wasn't that the reason she disliked Lily in the first place? And here she was with the king of that House, _snogging in a broom cupboard_!

Potter took his glasses off and wiped them. _Not so cool now, are you_? Lily thought with a smirk. He took a step towards her.

"Why, you little – "

"Twenty points from Slytherin," she interrupted coolly. Her voice betrayed none of the glee she felt internally at so ruffling him. "Now leave before I make it fifty."

He glared at her, eyes promising painful retribution. She simply smiled. Once she might have been scared, but she was older now, and nothing he could do or say would bring her down to that level again.

"Toddle along then," she said condescendingly. Potter's jaw worked as though he was struggling to bite a retort back. Then he grabbed Kylie's wrist and dragged her along behind him as he left.

The moment she was sure he had gone, Lily exhaled loudly and sagged Confrontations with Potter always left her feeling tired, like it had sapped all the strength from her, something that didn't even happen when she faced down her dear cousin Sirius. For the millionth time she was beyond glad Remus Lupin had been made Head Boy. True, he was a Marauder, but as she had found out he was willing to overlook their differences in private and work with her. He was good-looking too, with sandy hair and constantly shadowed brown eyes. If it wasn't for his House and the company he kept she might even have had a crush on him.

Once Lily had recovered she carried on her way. The rest of the patrol passed without incident. At a quarter to midnight she glanced at the luminous face of her watch and decided it was time for bed.

Lily started the trek back to Gryffindor tower. The castle was completely silent, everyone safely in their beds at this hour. Except her. She sped up, wanting to get back to her warm dorm with the four-poster bed between Alice and Arabella, but stopped as she rounded a corner and stared into the lamp-like yellow eyes of Mrs Norris.

The cat hissed.

"It's alright, Mrs Norris," Lily told her affectionately. "It's just me, on patrol." Filch's cat had been an occasional companion as she patrolled, and unlike the majority of the student body she actually liked it. Probably because she had no misdeeds it had turned her in for.

Mrs Norris hissed again. Lily frowned as she saw that it was crouched by a statue of some crone. She walked closer to it.

"What's wrong?"

The witch statue's one eye seemed to glare at her. Lily's skin tingled as she peered at it, wondering what was so special. Maybe there were students hidden behind it? She walked all around the statue but found nothing.

"Sorry, Mrs Norris," she told the watching cat with a shrug. "Nothing there." She glanced back at the one-eyed witch as she left, unable to shake the feeling that someone was watching from the shadows.

"Venomous Tentacula," Lily offered the portrait of the Fat Lady.

She shook her head. "Try again."

"Devil's Snare," Lily tried.

The corpulent portrait yawned.

She stamped her foot, irritated. "But I'm Head Girl! You know me, I've been in Gryffindor for the last six years!"

"Sorry," the Fat Lady said unapologetically. "But that's the rules. No entrance unless you have the password."

"Well, as Head Girl, I _order _you – "

"Lily!"

The portrait swung open. The redhead breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Alice climb through, wrapped in a fluffy white dressing gown.

"Alice!" she exclaimed. "Thank God you're here! She won't let me in!"

"Oh, it's Mandrake," Alice said. "I've been waiting up for you, there's something that's arrived for you."

Lily followed her into the common room. At this late hour it was deserted, only a fire burning in the fireplace. She sank into one of the armchairs with a tired sigh.

"Met Potter?" Alice guessed sympathetically. She knew the signs.

"Yes," Lily said without opening her eyes. "With Kylie Brown, can you believe it?"

"Hypocritical slut," Alice agreed. "But anyway, while you were off guarding Hogwarts, your owl Morrigan _this _for you."

The redhead's curiosity was piqued. She looked at what _this _was.

It was a scroll, tied with a length of black ribbon, and that alone told her who it was from. She reached out and read the first letter she had received from her family since Andromeda Black had eloped with Muggleborn Ted Tonks two months ago.

_Dear Lily,_

_You must be surprised to be receiving this, particularly since we have not communicated for some time. But I am writing to you to invite you to the wedding of Lucius and I in the capacity of bridesmaid. It will be held next Saturday at Malfoy Manor. I do hope you can come._

_Before you arrive, I must warn you. Andromeda has been blasted off the family tree, and as such you, Bella and I no longer have a sister by that name. This is to be your reply if you are asked questions about it. Mother and Father were very angry with her betrayal. With you being in Gryffindor, they may doubt your innate loyalty to the House of Black and our cause, so be prepared. Do not let us down. I hope to see you at Malfoy Manor next week._

_From your loving sister Narcissa Black, soon to be Narcissa Malfoy_

Lily finished reading the letter and rubbed her eyes.

"Well?" Alice said expectantly.

"Well what?"

"Are you going to go?" she persisted.

Lily heaved a shuddering groan. "I don't know, Alice. On one hand, I love my sisters for all their faults. But… but they're _Blacks_, for God's sake. You know their views on Muggleborns as well as I do!"

She stood up and began to pace agitatedly. "I mean, I've never considered myself to be all that much a part of the family. I don't believe in the supremacy of purebloods or that all other lines deserve to be wiped out. You know that! But now Andy's been disowned, we're not even allowed to mention her name. Cissy and Bella think I'm like them. Like our parents. Like Sirius."

Lily stared into the fire.

"But I'm not. Not at heart."

Alice rubbed her back comfortingly. "I think you should go," she said unexpectedly. Lily stared at her.

"What? But you of all people should know what they're like."

"I do," Alice said. "But they're still your sisters, and you love them. Go. Be a bridesmaid."

She chewed her lip. "I'll have to go and ask Dumbledore for special permission to leave for the weekend. Then I'll have to ask Lupin to take over all Head duties, just for those two days. Then a present…"

"Send your acceptance back first," Alice laughed, passing her a quill. Lily scrawled out a note acknowledging what Narcissa had said about Andromeda and stating that she would be delighted to go. She tied it to one of Morrigan's talons and watched as he flew out into the star-speckled night.

Alice yawned.

"Time for bed," Lily said, yawning as well. "Dammit, we have lessons tomorrow."

"A return to the seven a.m. alarm," Alice muttered. The two girls climbed the winding staircase to the girl's dormitories and hurriedly got ready for bed. As she slipped between the warmed sheets a thought occurred to Lily that made her sit bolt upright in bed.

"Alice!"

The reply was sleepy. "Mm?"

"Sirius will be there," Lily whispered fiercely. "And… and _Potter_."

There was a pause, then:

"Oh, shit. I didn't think of that." 


	3. Two: Problems in Potions

**AN: Would you guys like longer chapters with longer waits in between or shorter and shorter? xx**

**Chapter Two: Problems in Potions**

"An O, Miss Black! But then again, hardly unexpected, is it?"

Lily smiled modestly at her Potions professor Horace Slughorn as he handed the class back their essays on the effects of Felix Felicis. The 'O' was marked in bright green ink on the front.

She turned around. Two rows back Sirius was scowling at his paper, no doubt annoyed at her far more superior mark. But what gave her real satisfaction was the inscrutable expression on James Potter's face. That meant she'd gotten better than him, didn't it? If he'd gotten an Outstanding too there was no way he'd sit quiet as Slughorn lavished her with praise.

Lily settled back into her seat. Life was good. She'd splashed Potter with water last night, Arabella was in the chair beside her, and she was still top of the class. She only wished she'd had a camera with her to snap his expression as he got a soaking.

"Pay attention, Lily," Arabella whispered, nudging her. The redhead sat up and listened. Slughorn was speaking.

"…one month to complete it. You'll be paired with the person alphabetically beside you in the register. Remember, this constitutes sixty percent of your end-of-year mark!"

"What's going on?" Lily hissed. "What's he talking about?"

"Potions project," Arabella replied out of the corner of her mouth.

Lily experienced a sinking feeling in her stomach as she replayed the words _paired with the person alphabetically beside you in the register_. Why did things like this always seem to happen to her?

"Off you go!" Slughorn boomed. There was screeching as students got up and started setting up cauldrons. Lily stayed in her seat for several more seconds before standing up with a sigh.

It could be worse, she knew. She could have been paired with Potter, who was safely partnered with Henry Partington. But her cousin Sirius was almost as bad. He had his head up now and was watching her drag her feet to him with amusement clear in his gaze. She wanted to claw that smirk off his face.

"Lily, my darling blood-traitor cousin," he greeted.

"Sirius," she replied shortly. "You can go get the ingredients while I set the cauldron up."

He bounded up gracefully and over to the ingredients cupboard. She had wondered if he would argue with her, but the relationship they shared was different to hers and Potter's; Sirius preferred to showcase his disdain with drawling half-compliments and contemptuous gallantry instead of biting insults. Lily almost preferred Sirius' method. Since the day of the Sorting years ago they had never got into a proper row.

_Whereas_, Lily thought bitterly, _I had one with Potter not twenty-four hours ago_.

Sirius returned with all the necessary parts of the potion in his arms. By this time Lily had a fire roaring under the pewter cauldron and was stirring it as per the instructions on the board. They were making Porringer's Menace, an extremely volatile potion similar to a Molotov cocktail, and Lily triple-checked the steps set out to ensure everything was proceeding well.

She and Sirius kept their exchanges short and restricted to ones absolutely necessary.

"Pass me that knife."

"It says crushed belladonna next."

"Don't forget to stir three times quarter-clockwise before the seven times anti-clockwise."

By the time half the lesson had gone Lily had almost let herself relax. If she had been working with Potter, she thought, no doubt one of them would have been pushed face-first into the potion. Maybe working with Sirius wasn't as bad as she had thought it would be.

Naturally that was the moment things started to go wrong.

"Listen up, class!" Slughorn called through the haze of steam permeating the classroom. "I will now be taking the instructions off the board, since in your NEWTs you'll have to list them from memory!"

Lily had an exceptionally good memory. She was confident they could finish this potion, even without the guidelines, but just as she was about to add powdered unicorn horn Sirius grabbed her wrist and jerked it back.

"What are you doing?" he snarled. "It's unicorn _hair_, not horn!"

"Get your hands off me," she said coldly. Without waiting for him to do so she pulled it out of his grasp herself. "And it is unicorn horn, you fool. I've read the instructions."

"So have I," he countered. "And it said hair."

Not willing to engage in a lengthy discussion about this, Lily turned back to the potion in clear dismissal. She was just about to add the golden powder again when a hand snaked past her and dropped a slender silver thread into the cauldron.

The results were instantaneous.

_Bang_!

Lily dropped to the floor and curled into a ball. Over her head she felt a rush of hot air as the cauldron exploded outward, the addition of the wrong ingredient igniting the mixture. All around her she heard screams and clangs as the Menace made short work of the dungeon.

"_Sirius and Delilah Black_!" Slughorn roared, his usually affable demeanour reduced to shreds along with his expensive waistcoat. Lily was not the only one fighting a smile as she stood up and took in his distinctly ruffled appearance.

"You are meant to be my best student, Lily!" he shouted. "And you, Mr Black! I assume you were the one who added the wrong ingredient?"

Lily glanced around. It was a scene of pure destruction, with cauldrons upended, students splattered with unidentifiable things and a multicoloured brew spreading over the stone floor. When she looked down at herself she saw that there were holes in her robes.

Sirius had fared no better. His hair stuck up so wildly it was almost as bad as Potter's, and there was a smear of red on his forehead. To Lily's delight she saw it was a squashed beetle. God, now she really _did _wish she had a camera.

"Yes, professor," Sirius said tonelessly. "I added unicorn hair."

"You're extremely lucky I've decided this isn't a stupid Marauder prank, Mr Black," Slughorn said sternly. "You can be sure Professor Dumbledore will hear of this. And Professor McGonagall too, as your Head of House," he added to Lily. She cringed.

"Now you two go off to the Hospital Wing," Slughorn said. "But mark my words, you will get detention for this!"

Lily paled. "Detention?"

"Yes, Lily. Detention. Now Hospital Wing!"

She bit her tongue to prevent a rant on how it had been Sirius who had added the unicorn hair, not her, so why the hell was _she _being punished for it too! And her record had been so perfect! She kept her bottom lip clamped tightly under her incisors the whole terse walk to the Hospital Wing so that she wouldn't break out and scream at Sirius. She was Head Girl! Didn't that count for anything? Wasn't her word worth more than a boy who was in detention every other week and hung out with James Potter, whose family was notorious for being in good with You-Know-Who? Granted, her family was too, but she was in Gryffindor! She was different! There was a reason they called her the White Sheep - a little joke, since she was the odd Black out!

This half-coherent babble of rage repeated in her mind until they reached the Hospital Wing. Sirius took it upon himself to stride ahead and call out, "Madam Pomfrey!"

The plump young woman bustled out from her office. She stopped short at the sight of them.

"Good gracious, whatever happened to you?"

He smiled charmingly. "A small incident in Potions, Poppy. We're fine really. Just got sent here to make sure."

"Oh, you poor dear," she cooed. Lily felt a familiar pulse of irritation. Why did all the Marauders have to do was turn on their million-watt smile and they had everyone falling at their feet? Even the teachers seemed to be ignoring the dark rumours of torture and other unsavoury activities that surrounded the kings of Slytherin House.

Well, rumours to everyone else. Lily was under no illusions as to the limits of her family or the Potters. Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were much less dangerous but no better than the rest of their House.

She stood still as Madam Pomfrey gave Sirius a Pepper-up Potion and pronounced him free to leave. The same happened to her. She exited the Hospital Wing with her ears ringing and found Alice and Arabella waiting for her.

"Lily!" Alice exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

Lily smiled reassuringly."I'm fine. Really. But I have detention, can you believe it? And it's all Sirius' fault!"

"Oh, that reminds me," Arabella said. "McGonagall told me to give you this. It has details of your detention."

Lily unfurled the piece of parchment.

_Miss Black,_

_Arrive at the Great Hall tonight at eight p.m. You will be cleaning all the trophies in the Trophy Room without magic. Tomorrow be there at the same time and place, as Filch will inform you of the details of your other detentions then. Twenty points have been taken from Gryffindor. You have detention all week._

_Professor McGonagall_

Lily crushed the parchment in her fist, feeling sick. She had never lost her house a single point either, and now she had lost twenty. It was even worse that she was Head Girl. She was meant to be the one Gryffindor could rely on!

Alice saw Lily's anger and wrapped an arm around her. "I have some news that will cheer you up," she chirped.

The redhead raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Sirius Black has detention for the week too. But he's lost Slytherin fifty points and," she paused for effect, "he has to spend tonight gutting football-sized spiders without gloves or magic!"

Lily burst into laughter, both at the image her mind conjured for her and relief that she would not be sharing her detention with him. Feeling far better - as it had been Alice's intention to make her - she set off to her next lesson with a new spring in her step.

"Black," Filch said, looking her up and down critically. "In here."

He shuffled off. Lily waved slightly at Mrs Norris and followed the caretaker into the Trophy Room, which led off the Great Hall. The only illumination was candles floating in midair casting flickering yellow light off dusty glass cases and dully gleaming shields.

"You'll stay here until all of these are spick and span, is that clear? Whole night if necessary."

Lily nodded. She had a feeling Filch was behaving rather nicely to her, since her Head duties meant she did in fact often do the same as him. Alice had described a detention she had had with Filch and it had apparently included threats of whipping.

"He should be along soon," Filch said. "I'll be here till he comes, but then I'll leave you to it."

She narrowed her eyes. "What? I'm not meant to be having detention with Sirius. He's gutting spiders in the dungeons."

"Not your cousin, Miss Black," Filch said with a shake of his head. "Someone else was assigned detention here just this afternoon, which is why you haven't heard of it. He's late," he said disapprovingly.

Lily frantically ran through a list of frequent offenders in her head. There were two names at the very top, and if Sirius was out of the running then that left -

James Potter swaggered into the Trophy Room as though he owned it. "What did I miss?"


	4. Three: Detention with Potter

**AN: Thank you to all of you who reviewed and favourited and followed! Now, if only the people in the last two categories could review too...pretty please? xx And sorry, but my updates will probably slow down, what with the return to school next week :(**

**Chapter Three: Detention with Potter**

"No!" Lily shrieked, her voice rising through several octaves. "Mr Filch, sir, you can't _possibly _leave me here with this – with this – "

"Toerag?" James Potter offered. She ignored him.

"Based on his previous record of failures to complete detentions, I really don't think he should be left unsupervised!"

"He won't be left unsupervised," Filch said somewhat irritably. "He'll be with you, won't he?"

Lily didn't need Potter's sneer to tell her that she hardly counted as supervision. "But really, Mr Filch, it's hardly fair…"

She trailed off when she realised that he wasn't even listening. "Fine," she said abruptly. "You can leave now, _sir_." She said the last word dripping with so much sarcasm that she saw Potter grin out of the corner of her eye. He was enjoying this, the bastard. She smoothed on her mask and nodded curtly as Filch as he left. Even Mrs Norris had abandoned her. Traitor.

"Right, Potter," Lily said brusquely. "I'm assuming you don't want to be here with me any more than I do, so keep your mouth shut and work so we can be out of here faster. You do that side over there. I'll do this." Without looking at him once she made her way to an array of sponges laid out beside two buckets of soapy water.

Lily felt him the moment he moved to stand behind her. His breath was hot on the back of her neck, and she cursed the practicality that had caused her to bundle her flaming locks into a bun and expose that patch of skin. Potter's fingers brushed it next. His touch was feather-light. She stiffened.

"Really, Black," he murmured into her ear. "Why should I do what you tell me to do?"

Every muscle in Lily's body was tense. She didn't know why she didn't simply turn and knee him straight in the balls, but she didn't want to touch him. Not if she could help it.

"I'm Head Girl, which is exactly why you should do what I tell you to," she snapped back.

Potter chuckled. "I'm Quidditch Captain for Slytherin, Black. That negates some of your hold over me."

Damn it, but he was right. Lily twisted around so it would be easier to push him off then immediately regretted in. They were now face-to-face, his hazel eyes boring into her green ones. They had gold flecks in them, she noted absently. She could admit he had nice eyes while still loathing him, couldn't she?

Potter's head inched closer to hers. Lily's eyes widened in alarm and she tried to back away, but he was faster than her. One hand came up to hold her head in place and his lips were almost over hers when –

"_Aguamenti!"_

Lily screamed in shock as water suddenly exploded over the front of her black silk blouse and jeans. Potter roared with laughter.

"Your face, Black! Good Lord, _that _was truly epic. Revenge is sweet, isn't it?" Still chortling, he tipped her a salute, took a sponge and bucket of water, and went off to the other side of the room.

Lily felt fury bubble up in her. But this time, it was mixed with shame – shame that he'd gotten her so easily, shame that he'd nearly kissed her and most of all… shame that she'd been about to let him.

She scrubbed viciously at a plaque celebrating Tom Riddle. God, what was _wrong _with her? She despised Potter! She wasn't like Kylie Brown or those other girls who couldn't see past the admittedly model-worthy looks and overinflated head. She knew about the real darkness in James Potter – had known since that night in third year – and still had let herself be caught neatly in his web.

Well, never again. Lily snuck a look at him. He was kneeling, sponging the bottom of a glass case. His muscles bunched and flexed as he moved them. The sight filled her with a desire to dismember him so she quickly moved her eyes back to her work.

Lily's hand subconsciously tightened around her wand in the pocket of her jeans. Why shouldn't she use it on him? He certainly deserved it. She only wanted to hex him a little bit. Okay, maybe she wanted to hex him to kingdom come, but the point was she wouldn't act on it. She had self-control. Unlike him.

Lily blinked and came back to herself with a start. What was she thinking? She didn't need to be using her wand on anyone, she chastised herself. She was better than that.

But it was so _tempting_…

Her eyelids drooped slightly as she imagined what she could do to Potter. His back was turned, and no self-respecting Gryffindor should have taken advantage of that, but she was a Black too and this was a perfect opportunity.

Lily made a decision. James Potter needed to go down, and now was just the time to do it.

"_Rictusempra_!"

The spell hit him directly between the shoulder blades. He jerked violently then curled into a ball, laughing uncontrollably at the Tickling Charm. Lily giggled as she watched until he managed to extract his wand and spit out between his teeth, "_Stupefy_!"

She reacted instinctively. "_Protego_!"

The Stunning Spell's jet of red light rebounded off her Shield Charm. Lily cringed as it shattered the glass of a display case. The clanging as several heavy trophies toppled to the floor was sure to attract attention.

"Black!" bellowed Potter, who had managed to stop being tickled. "Look what you've done!"

"Me?" She screeched. "You dare accuse _me _of being the cause of all this?"

"Who cursed me from the back, eh?"

"Who pretended to want to kiss me just to wet me for revenge?" she countered.

Suddenly, Potter stopped looked angry and smirked. "Upset I didn't actually do it?"

"Why on earth would I want your filthy lips anywhere near mine? God knows where they've been," she said, a little too quickly.

He saw it and pounced. "Really, Black? So if I were to do this – "

He tried to approach her, but Lily's wand was aimed at him before he could take more than a step in her direction.

"You stay right where you are, Potter, or you'll be in the Hospital Wing for the rest of seventh year," she said warningly.

He held up his hands mockingly in a gesture of surrender. "Alright, I won't go near you if you don't think you can control yourself around me. But there'll be other opportunities, Black. Maybe I'll do something bad to get detention with you again tomorrow."

Lily waved her wand threateningly. "You do that, and I'll curse you right here where you stand."

Potter's lips pulled up in a crooked grin that made him look positively sinful, and Lily clenched her teeth.

"Wait till Sirius hears about this," he said teasingly. "He'll be so pleased his little cousin is finally showing signs of her long-suppressed Black blood. If we didn't know better we'd think you were adopted."

Lily opened her mouth to launch into a spiel on how _one _itty-bitty tiny piece of revenge did not qualify her to be placed in Slytherin when she stopped dead, head tilting to the side. Potter tensed. He had heard it too.

Someone was coming, their footsteps echoing loudly through the Great Hall outside.

Lily closed her eyes. This was it. Her life was over. Not only did she have week-long detention, but now she'd probably be expelled or something for breaking the glass and fooling around while she was meant to be hard at work. She opened her eyes. She at least wanted to see the look on his face.

He had vanished.

Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. Where was he? Suddenly a hand closed over her upper arm in a vice-like grip and dragged her backwards. She opened her mouth to cry out.

"Shut up! It's me!" Potter hissed. "Be quiet!"

There was a ripple around her and Lily felt the oddest sensation. It felt like she was wrapped in fabric, but she could see into the Trophy Room as if through a pane of thick glass or shimmering suspended water. At that moment Professor Sprout of Herbology burst in.

"What's going on?"

She stopped short at the broken display case and buckets on the floor. Her eyes scanned the room and Lily prepared herself for discovery, but amazingly Sprout passed her with nothing more than a cursory glance. The teacher frowned and walked off again.

Only then was Lily aware that her heart was pounding furiously and _she was pressed up against James Potter_. The moment she became aware of this she bared her teeth in a grimace and pulled away.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Invisibility Cloak," he replied shortly. She drew in an awed breath. She'd heard of them. They were rare, and hard to come by, but would certainly explain how the Marauders had managed to get away with so much over the years.

"Let's get the Trophy Room finished," Potter said. "Sprout might come back any minute. And Black, you better not tell anyone about the Cloak."

She hadn't thought about it yet, but shrugged easily. She could afford to do him a good turn. A small one. "Sure."

They finished the rest of the detention in silence. For the next three hours they spent there, Lily constantly returned to one thought: Why had James Potter taken her under his Invisibility Cloak when he could have just left her out to be caught by Sprout?


	5. Four: Full Moon Fever

**AN: Dedicated to lilalex, the first one to review! I'm secretly posting this at school ;) More reviews inspire me to write more, people! xx**

**Chapter Four: Full Moon Fever**

"Unghh," Lily groaned unintelligibly. "Food."

Arabella eyed her warily. "Are you _sure _you're alright, Lily?" The redhead was slumped onto the table, deep purple shadows ringing her closed eyes. She pointed at a dish of Shepherd's Pie some way off and gestured wordlessly for someone to give it to her.

Alice spooned some onto her plate. "Lily, seriously. First you were up most of Sunday night patrolling, then you were up past midnight yesterday doing detention. How did that go, by the way?"

Lily thought back to their exchanged hexes and narrow escape from Sprout. "Fine," she said with a sigh. "Dandy. As perfect as possible when there's someone like Potter in the world." She reached blindly for a spoon, missed, and swore when her hand knocked over s goblet of pumpkin juice.

Alice watched the growing orange stain with concern. "No, Lily, really. I think you need to go the Hospital Wing. You'll break something, carrying on like this."

Lily opened one eye to spear Alice with her piercing green gaze. Then she resumed her efforts to eat lunch without actually seeing it.

"One thing," she said. "Can you tell me if Potter's there?"

Alice twisted round in her seat to check. Over at the Slytherin table the Marauders sat in their usual seats, laughing loudly with the circle of people permitted to sit beside them. She scowled when she noticed that most of them had known family members who were Death Eaters.

"Potter's there alright," Alice reported to Lily, "but Lupin isn't. You reckon he's ill or something again?"

"Probably," Lily said. She had the sudden urge to see if Potter looked as bad as she felt, and mustered the energy to raise her head. She scanned the Slytherins. There – lounging by Sirius, arrogance painted in every line of his lithely muscled body. She was struck by how similar he looked to her cousin. They both had black hair, though Potter's looked like he had never heard of a comb, and while it was well known that Potter was more charismatic Sirius exuded more elegance.

Lily rolled her eyes at Potter's apparent perfection and shoved some more pie in her mouth. She knew better. The anger seemed to wake her up a little, and Alice looked more relieved as Lily sat up straighter – at least until the redhead keeled forward into her plate.

"Lily!"

Arabella grabbed her shoulder and shook her. Lily blinked owlishly, groaning.

"I don't… feel so good…"

Alice pressed the back of her hand to Lily's forehead. It was hot. Too hot.

"You get up right now, Delilah Black, and get to the Hospital Wing," she ordered. "You're running a fever!"

Lily's head was pounding in time to an internal drum and the Great Hall seemed to be made up of vague colours and shapes. This time she didn't protest, standing up and waiting for the room to stop spinning before trying to set off. Arabella got up too to escort her.

"I'll make bring your bag back to the dorm!" Alice called.

Lily leaned heavily on Arabella as she stumbled out of the Hall. In the past 48 hours she had had no more than a handful of hours' sleep, and it showed. Neither of them spoke as Arabella gently guided her into the Hospital Wing and called for Madam Pomfrey.

"Again?" the matronly young woman said disapprovingly. "Really, Miss Black!"

Lily made a beeline for the nearest bed and collapsed on it, not having the strength to answer. Her eyelids slid shut. When someone tried to pull her into a sitting position she moaned, trying to push them away, but whoever it was, was persistent. Eventually the redhead downed the drink being placed at her mouth and sprawled back down on the bed.

Lily slept.

When her eyes opened, she squinted for a few moments at the unfamiliar glaring white light before remembering where she was.

"Hey, Black."

Lily relaxed when she recognised the friendly voice. She rolled her body to the side and smiled at the person in the bed beside her.

"Hey, Lupin."

Her eyes widened in shock when she saw him. Remus Lupin looked… exhausted. And that was an understatement. The bruises under his eyes were ten times worse than the ones she had feared she would have, and tiredness lined every premature wrinkle on his face. Nevertheless he managed a smile at her.

"Pomfrey says you had a temperature. Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, thanks," she said. Her headache had cleared up and she felt fresh. Rejuvenated. Lily swung herself upright and looked at him critically.

"What about you, Lupin? You look like death warmed over. What's wrong?"

He grinned a little at her blunt description but it faded quickly. "Nothing's wrong. Just feeling a bit ill. Must be the weather."

"Right," Lily said doubtfully. If it had been anyone else she couldn't have cared less, but she considered Remus Lupin to be the only decent Slytherin out of the multitudes she had met. Plus, he was Head Boy. A thought occurred to her.

"You not going to be there for the meeting with the Prefects tonight then?"

He tried to sit up but flopped back with a groan. "No, I'll be here all night. Send my apologies."

"Will do." Lily watched him for a few moments, her mind working. This wasn't the first time Lupin had taken a few days off school. In fact, she'd been noticing it since September, and it was now late November. She spoke suddenly.

"How's your mum?"

He flinched. "What?"

"Your mum," Lily repeated. "Wasn't she ill last month? Roundabouts this time, too?"

"Oh, yeah," he said. "Yeah. Thankfully she's fine now. Maybe I caught this from her."

"Maybe," she said. Her suspicions were still there, but she decided it wasn't of immediate importance and filed it away for later. "So, do you know what the time is?"

"Lessons have just finished. I heard the bell," he said.

She nodded and slipped off the bed. "See you around, Lupin. Get well soon."

"Thanks, see you," Lupin said as she walked away.

Lily made her way to the Gryffindor common room. She had an hour or so to kill before the Prefects' meeting started, and she might as well do her homework then. She climbed in through the portrait hole.

"Lily!"

Lily gasped and staggered to the side as Alice flew at her and wrapped her arms around her neck.

"Calm down, Al!" she said laughingly. "You want to strangle me?"

Alice drew back, smiling. "I missed you," she sang. "I had to write _my own notes _in Arithmancy, can you believe it?"

"Oh, the horror," Lily said dryly. "One day I won't be there for you to copy off me, and then you'll be really stuck."

Alice waved a hand dismissively as she booted a third-year out of the armchair nearest the fire. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. You being you, I'm guessing you want your homework?"

"Please," Lily said. "By the way, where's Frank?"

Alice and Frank Longbottom had started dating in sixth year, and they were the most adorable couple she had ever met.

"Something to do with Quidditch," Alice shouted over her shoulder as she ascended the staircase to the girls' dorms. Frank also happened to be Quidditch Captain, and a damned fine one he was too, Lily thought with a sudden rush of vindictiveness as she recalled that Slytherin had only beaten Gryffindor in their last match by ten points. _Ten points_! That was a pittance! It certainly had nothing to do with the so-called skill of one James Potter!

When Alice brought back the foot-high pile of parchment that was her homework Lily dived right in, immersing herself in Goblin Wars and Cheering Charms and a variety of Runes. She only looked up when the grandfather clock in the common room announced that it was nearly five o'clock. It being nearly winter, the sky outside was already dark.

"Prefects' meeting," Lily told Alice and Arabella. They waved her off without setting aside their own work.

Lily pulled a black cloak tighter around her as she headed down the draughty corridors. The meeting was being held in an old Transfiguration classroom. She pushed open the door, instantly being accosted by a wave of warmth, and greeted the people inside.

"Hi, Lily!"

"Good to see you, Black!"

She smiled around at everyone. She was a popular enough Head Girl, as well known for her sense of justice as her temper, and even the Slytherins never put up too much of a fight against her – though she knew that had more to do with her family ties than her skills as a Head Girl.

Lily started the meeting with the usual counting of House points (Gryffindor: 240, Slytherin: 310, Hufflepuff: 190 and Ravenclaw: 205). They cycled through all the other issues brought up by various Prefects and finally, at ten past seven, Lily stood up.

"Anything else?"

"Nope," said Astoria Greengrass, the fifth-year Hufflepuff prefect. Lily nodded and gathered a sheaf of papers together. These were the Prefects' written reports, and half would go to Lupin to be checked over while the other half was for her.

"In that case, off you go! Remember, same time same place next week!"

They chorused goodbyes and trooped out. Once they had gone Lily remembered her detention and groaned. There was still another three-quarters of an hour to go.

She decided to return to the common room, where Alice and Arabella would still be. As she did she made a detour to check the noticeboard for the next Hogsmeade visit. She stopped short when she saw who was standing there.

"Frank? What are you doing?"

Alice's brown-haired boyfriend turned around from where he was standing pinning a poster to the board. "Oh, hey, Lily," he said. "Prefects' meeting?"

She read the poster over his shoulder. "Yeah. So you're looking for a new Seeker?"

Instantly Frank launched into a rant. "Yes, because that _absolute bloody git _Corner had to go and_contract effing pneumonia _in addition to _breaking his wrist _and now he's left us without a Seeker, which is quite possibly the most important person on the team!"

Lily backed away, laughing. "Wow, Frank. It isn't his fault, remember. I'm sure he doesn't want to have pneumonia _and _a broken wrist either. When's the tryouts, anyway?"

"Half-past eight, tonight," Frank grumbled. "Only time I've managed to book the pitch." Suddenly he froze, looking her up and down, an awed expression on his face. Lily began to feel uncomfortable.

"Uh, Frank? I don't think Alice would appreciate you eyeing up other girls," she said, half-jokingly. He shook himself.

"No, I mean yeah, but – Lily, you'd be a great Seeker!"

She raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Me?"

"Yes!" he nodded emphatically. "I've seen you play two-a-side over the summer, you aren't half bad on a broomstick. Must be your genes – Sirius is by all accounts one of the best Beaters Slytherin have ever had. And with your build, you'd be perfect for a Seeker!"

She shrugged. "I'll take your word for it."

"No, Lily. Promise me you'll come to tryouts?"

"Sorry, Frank. I can't. I have detention in half an hour."

"Fuck detention!" he snapped. Lily blinked. He must really have felt strongly about this if mild-mannered Frank was swearing. "If you go tell McGonagall it's for Quidditch, she'll let you off the hook. She didn't like us losing last match any more than we did, and she knows us having a Seeker is vital."

Despite herself, Lily began to feel interested. She'd always liked the feeling of riding a broomstick, though it wasn't her _life_, and it was true what he'd said about genes. Narcissa had been a Chaser, Andromeda – she guiltily quashed that thought – and Bellatrix the only female Beater in Slytherin history. Maybe it was time to see what she could do. After all, she was the White Sheep in so many other respects.

"Alright, I'll talk to McGonagall," she acquiesced.

Frank grinned widely. "Yes! Quick, go now! Remember, at half eight on the pitch. Do you have a broomstick?"

She shook her head. "I'll borrow Arabella's Cleansweep for now. If I get in I'll write to my parents for my own."

"Good girl," Frank said. He walked away, whistling cheerfully.

Lily heaved a breath, though she wasn't really very irritated, and started walking the way she'd come. Only to be stopped by a now-familiar sight.

_Really, why is it always me?_

She had a sneaking suspicion that Potter seemed to save his conquests for nights when she was on patrol, as opposed to Remus Lupin. And tonight wasn't even a patrol night. He had a girl up against the wall, and was kissing her so hard she thought he might possibly be trying to suck her insides out through her mouth. Lily's nose wrinkled at the thought.

Well, at least it effectively got rid of any lingering thoughts about the almost-kiss they'd shared the night before. Lily briefly considered spraying them both with water again but dismissed it. She never used the same method twice. Naturally, what with Potter's frequent hook-ups, it had forced her to be quite creative. Maybe the Tap-Dancing Curse?

"Never pegged you for a voyeur, Black."

Lily jumped. While she'd been contemplating various methods of unsticking two individuals apparently glued at the lips he'd opened his eyes and was watching her. The faceless girl was trailing kisses over his throat. Lily fought down her blush.

"Thirty points from Slytherin, Potter. Really, I've only just done the weekly points tally, and you're already losing your House points. Gryffindor's not too far behind, you know."

She prepared to sweep majestically away but of course he had a retort ready. "Then I'll just have to win more points in Quidditch, won't I? Shouldn't be too hard. Wasn't last time, and you don't even have a Seeker now."

Lily cursed the flaw that meant she never could let anyone have the last word, least of all James Potter. But the smugness in his voice was infuriating. It was also slightly huskier than usual, no doubt due to the ministrations of the girl. Who oddly enough still hadn't looked up despite Potter talking.

"The Seeker tryouts are tonight," she informed him coolly. "No doubt Frank will find someone more than capable."

"Longbottom wouldn't know capability if it danced naked in front of him," Potter said derisively. Lily opened her mouth to defend her friend but he still wasn't done yet. "I mean, he never has before, so why start now? Just look at the sorry state of your team." Then, seemingly casually: "You thinking of trying out, Black?"

Her silence was answer enough, and he whooped. "You are! Fuck, this is going to be the funniest thing I've seen all year. I _have _to come watch this. Can you even ride a broom?"

"Piss off, Potter," Lily barked. She stalked off, but before she had gone very far, Potter yelled out, "How about a bet, Black? Fifty galleons you don't get in!"

She laughed scathingly. "Sorry, Potter. I don't do taking candy from a baby."

She sped up so she wouldn't hear his reply, but his voice was loud enough that she could hear him repeat his decision to watch the tryouts.

Lily fumed all the way to McGonagall's office. Now she _really _had to make the team, or at least do extremely well, if only to prove to Potter that she could ride a broom as well as he could. Never mind that he was Chaser and she would be trying for Seeker. She was determined now, and everyone in her way had better watch out.

Including McGonagall. Lily knocked once and entered, seeing her Head of House look up.

"Yes, Miss Black?"

Lily took a breath. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Professor, but Frank Longbottom's holding Quidditch tryouts to find a new Seeker tonight and he thinks I would be a good candidate. However, I have detention. Could I possibly make up the detention some other time and attend the tryouts?"

She held her breath, praying the Frank was right and the teacher's House spirit would win. McGonagall considered it for a few moments then nodded. "Very well, Miss Black. You may try out for Seeker. And what's more," she smiled faintly at Lily's look of relief, "if you do make it, I absolve you of the rest of your detentions."

"Thanks, Professor!" Lily said exuberantly. She forced herself to walk sedately out of the office, then ran all the way to the common room to ask Arabella for her broom.

It was just more incentive to get on the team.


	6. Five: Quidditch Tryouts

**AN: For .nerd, who also loves Percy Jackson ;) sorry, no James POV until the end at least. Review please! xx - Nat**

**Chapter Five: Quidditch Tryouts**

Lily had only ever been truly nervous twice before in her life.

The first had been way back at the beginning of first year right before the Sorting, when she'd thought she'd lose her friends forever by being placed in Slytherin. The second had been that incident in third year.

And now, once again, Lily Black was nervous.

She took in the several hundred people who sat in the stands with a sense of growing horror. Alice and Arabella were here because they'd insisted on coming long. She'd thought only maybe a couple of Gryffindors showed up to watch these things. But there were more than just Gryffindors – the other Houses had a strong interest in who their rivals were going to be too.

Lily's nerves didn't improve when she caught sight of James Potter sitting surrounded by his cronies. He was leaning back watching the crowd of potential Seekers, hands laced behind his head. She noticed that Sirius and Peter Pettigrew were with him. Lupin was obviously still ill.

"You'll do fine, Lily," Alice said with a reassuring smile. "Knock 'em dead, tiger!"

Lily managed to get up a weak smile and walked towards the group milling around Frank. Her palms were so sweaty they slid slightly down the Cleansweep's handle. She wiped them surreptitiously on her robe.

"Alright everyone, shut up!" Frank bellowed. The stands and Seeker hopefuls fell silent. At normal volume he continued, "I want you to do a lap of the pitch first. This is standard procedure for any Quidditch tryout and it proves you can ride a broom competently. Off you go!"

Lily swung a leg over the broomstick and kicked off. A rush of wind blew her fiery red hair back. She smiled involuntarily, her anxiety dissipating. She could do this, of course she could, why had she ever thought she wouldn't be able to? She wondered why she'd never thought about Quidditch before. Her body liked being on a broomstick. Maybe she wasn't some sort of lethal weapon like Sirius and Potter were, but she could hold her own. Couldn't she?

Lily decided she would _have _to, both to get out of detention and to prove to Potter she could. That meant she would have to scope out the competition. About halfway through her lap she looked over her shoulder to see who else had managed to get this far without falling off.

To Lily's surprise, out of about thirty people who had turned up at least ten seemed to be having major problems. She rolled her eyes. _Why show up if you don't even know how to ride a broom?_

Lily touched down lightly on the ground and hopped off. Her cheeks were lightly flushed, the lap having served as a good warm-up. The others who had also survived landed beside her. Frank nodded approvingly.

"Good, good. You people have managed to successfully assure me that you won't be falling off your broom before the game's even started. Now this is where it gets harder. Get into pairs."

Lily glanced around for someone to partner with. She caught the eye of a fifth-year boy, who shrugged and moved to stand by her. "Stan," he introduced himself.

"Lily."

"This bit is going to test your hand-eye coordination – basic ability to catch a ball – and also how well you think about and execute split-second manoeuvres. In the game you'll have to do things before they even enter your head so you must be prepared to fly everywhere at all times. I'm going to be giving each pair a Quaffle. One of you will throw to the other and count how long it takes for the catcher to fumble. Then you swap. At the end the best people from each pair will be matched against each other. Is that clear?"

There were mumbles off assent. Lily easily caught the big red ball Frank tossed at her. "Here," she said to Stan. "You want to catch first, or shall I?"

"I'll do it," he volunteered. She nodded and held onto the ball as they rose into the air. All around the pitch partners were beginning to throw, darting in every direction to catch. She saw the avid expressions on most of the spectators' faces and her nerves returned in a rush.

"Three, two, one, _go_!" Lily said. She drew her arm back and threw, deliberately aiming in such a way that Stan would have to dive low to catch. He raced after it and grabbed it. When he returned the Quaffle to her Lily threw randomly again.

It continued like this for several minutes, Lily counting time on her watch. Stan was good but she knew beyond a doubt she could be better. Her eye ran critically down him. He sat too far forward, needed to bend his back further to decrease air resistance, braked too hard…

The movement had become so automatic that Lily blinked in surprise when Stan came back slowly, Quaffle in hand.

"I dropped it," he said in response to her questioning look. "It's your turn now. How long did I last?"

"Um…two minutes and five seconds," she said. "Well done, you were really good!"

Stan nodded briefly. "Thanks." Without any warning he threw the Quaffle, and Lily veered sharply to the right to catch it. She lobbed it back only for it to be thrown again.

Lily quickly lost any shyness or extraneous thoughts that might have been floating around in her head. It was demanding, and she had to focus on the tiny tensing of Stan's arm muscles that gave away which direction he would choose next. Then she would fly wildly after it. Nine times out of ten her fingers only barely grazed the surface of the ball before she put on a burst of speed and wrapped them round it.

And she was loving it.

She loved the exhilaration that ran fiercely through her when she made a particularly daring catch, the way her heart beat furiously and blood sang. For the first time she considered how people like her cousin and Potter felt when they were up here. No wonder they – Potter especially – were hailed as Quidditch heroes.

Thinking of Potter made her turn instinctively to see him. He was watching her and her alone, but she stopped dead at the expression on his face. He looked… shocked? Was that shock she read in his widened hazel eyes?

The Quaffle slipped straight through her fingers.

Lily hissed, cursing her momentary lack of concentration, knowing it was too late. She was out. Now she finally allowed herself to relax and take in her surroundings.

Her jaw dropped.

Every eye in the stadium was fixed on her. The people in the stands, her fellow candidates on the ground – they all stared at her. After a moment she realised why. Apart from Stan she was the only person still on a broomstick.

Everyone else was on the ground.

In a self-conscious daze she flew closer to Stan. "How long?" she asked quietly.

"Seven minutes and forty-six seconds," he replied in the same tone. Lily's fingers clamped down hard on the broom. She had been up here for _nearly ten minutes_?

She descended quickly and almost tripped in her haste as she got off. Frank had been staring at her open-mouthed, but he shook himself and cleared his throat.

"How… how long did you last for?"

"Seven forty-six," Lily replied in a near-whisper. The people around her sucked in sharp breaths.

Most of Lily was dying of embarrassment, painfully aware that they were all looking at her in astonished disbelief. But there was a tiny part of her that belonged to the Blacks and revelled in the attention. She usually kept this part on the tightest of leashes, knowing just how sadistic it could be, but at times her control waned.

Now was one of them.

Because that part also lent her confidence, and she straightened her spine and returned the stares haughtily. Her family was known to have arrogance down to an art form. She had never been gladder of that fact.

"Moving on," Frank said, although his voice was still a bit hoarse. "The person who lasted the longest from each pair will go onto the next round. The losers can leave."

Stan nodded at Lily and joined the exodus of people from the pitch. There were about ten people left now. Her nervousness was long gone as she examined her opponents.

Six of them were boys, one a huge hulk of muscles and one wiry-thin. The other boys were somewhere in between. None looked particularly special. Then the three other girls apart from herself. She recognised two of them. Jamie Bell and Claudia Wilson were both in her year, and she was friendly with them.

"This is the last round," Frank said. "Get into pairs, and then the person with the best previous time out of the two of you will be throw while the other is Keeper."

Jamie Bell made a beeline for Lily and smiled at her. "Hey, Lily! Congratulations on the catching thing. You did really well!"

The redhead smiled back. "Thanks. So I suppose I'm thrower then?"

Jamie nodded vigorously. "Definitely!"

Amused at her partner's boundless enthusiasm, Lily soared into the air with the Quaffle tucked under her arm. She selected a hoop. Jamie moved to hover in front of it.

Frank's whistle blew, indicating the start of the round, and Lily launched the ball forward. It skimmed Jamie's fingers and she caught it. Lily's eyes narrowed as she realised that this time, simple throwing tactics would not work; she had to try something else.

She backed up then barrelled toward the hoop, braking abruptly three centimetres from Jamie's nose and flinging out the Quaffle. Jamie shrieked and flinched reflexively. The Quaffle spun through the goal.

It was pure luck that Jamie Bell had picked her, Lily admitted. The girl might have had a better catching time than her previous partner but she either fumbled easy goals or saved astoundingly brilliantly. The problem with her was that her pattern was too erratic. She might be able to save unexpectedly well but at other times she dropped the Quaffle far too often.

Still, she put up a good fight, and Lily found that her opinion of Jamie Bell had increased tremendously. When Frank blew the whistle again to signify the end she gave Jamie a rare smile of true approval.

"Alright, the moment of truth," Frank said. His voice was low enough that those in the stands would not be able to hear. "Firth, come tell me how many got past you."

The boy who had been Keeper in his pair went to murmur a number lowly in the Quidditch Captain's ear. This went on until it was Jamie's turn to tell him how many goals Lily had scored.

Lily suddenly felt a return of her butterflies as she watched Jamie walk - almost in slow-motion - towards him. She held her breath.

_Please let me the best, please let me the best..._

It all depended on this, she knew. She had to have more goals than anyone else in the given time or she wouldn't be Seeker.

She _had _to be Seeker. It had turned personal, this Quidditch thing. Now she wasn't just doing it for Potter or McGonagall - she wanted to know herself that she was good enough to get in. It felt as though she hadn't breathed for several minutes now when it could have been no longer than a few seconds.

Jamie Bell hurried away from Frank and he opened his mouth to speak.

"The person with the best scores, and the Gryffindor Quidditch Team's new Seeker is Delilah Black!"

The world stopped.

Then it exploded, and Lily could hear Alice and Arabella screaming incoherently from somewhere in the stands. Jamie squealed. "Oh, well done!"

"I told you you could do it," Frank said, smiling warmly at her. Then a deluge of people swept down on Lily.

First were her best friends, hugging her tightly with massive grins. Then it seemed that every single Gryffindor who had been spectators swamped her with congratulations. She knew they were just pleased their House had a Seeker again and could potentially win the next match. She knew it, but allowed herself to get caught up in the wild happiness that wasn't really about her. Even a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs clapped her on the back as they passed.

"Party in the common room, now!" Alice roared in Lily's ear. "Will Spinnet, you're in charge of drinks!"

It was like an after-game party. Lily wondered how bad it would be if against all odds Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup that ear and took out their main rivals, the Slytherins. The thought of them caused her to twist her neck and search them out in the crowd.

They walked in a close-knit group, the Marauders at the front. The mass of people seemed to split for them as they passed like Moses and the Red Sea. Lily looked directly into James Potter's eyes and smiled once, her red lips curled triumphantly.

He scowled darkly but didn't look away. That look on his face, what was it? Annoyance for sure, but maybe mixed with hints of surprise and a very grudging respect. She couldn't resist.

"Bet you're glad I didn't take you up on your offer, right, Potter?"

He flashed her an unexpectedly dazzling grin. "Don't think you're in the clear yet, Black. You have your first match against Hufflepuff next week. Let's see how well you do then."

"Well done, Lily," Sirius said quietly. Surprised, Lily switched her glance to him. He was looking at her with an unreadable expression. She nodded in acknowledgement of his words.

"Make sure you live up to the family name," he said. "I'd hate for you to have broken the great Quidditch skills streak we have as well the all-Slytherin one."

Before she could answer - not that she could think of anything to say - he turned and was gone. Neither Peter Pettigrew nor the other Slytherins trailing behind them said anything.

Finally Lily shook herself. There was a party, ostensibly in her honour, being held in the Gryffindor common room, though she knew her House leaped at any chance to throw a celebration with drinks and dancing. But before she went in she looked at the sky.

It was a full moon tonight.


	7. Six: An Eye for an Eye

**AN: Dedicated to Hermitt, who enjoyed Lily's Black side ;) Review please! xx**

**Chapter Six: An Eye for an Eye**

Lily's eyes narrowed as she scanned the classroom.

_He's not here_.

She couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or relieved. Annoyed, because Sirius was her partner, and this was meant to be a partner project. Relieved because she wasn't quite sure how to treat him after his unexpected words last night. He'd actually been… nice. Sort of. Maybe her cousin wasn't _quite _as Black as the rest of the family?

But then she remembered that night four years ago, and James Potter standing over her with her blood staining his hands, and dismissed the thought. That night had been all Sirius' fault. If he wasn't as cruel as the others he wouldn't have done it.

Lily forced the tiny voice inside her head that said _you know you can be just as cruel as them_ to shut it and went up to Slughorn.

"Professor, my partner's not here."

"Yes, Mr Black is absent," Slughorn said ponderously. "You may work with Miss Bones and Miss Byron for today."

Lily nodded and turned to find them. As she did she paused, realising that there was another group of three in the classroom. Rotund Henry Partington – James Potter's partner – was working with another pair. She frowned. So Sirius and Potter were both absent? Something was decidedly odd about this.

"Lily!"

She snapped out of her contemplative rumination and went to where Amelia and Lucy were waving at her. She liked both of them well enough. They were the next pair along alphabetically and Amelia Bones was clever and law-abiding, a girl after Lily's own heart.

This Potions lesson certainly wouldn't be exploding in her face.

~#~#~

"It's very strange," Alice said as Lily dropped down onto the bench beside her.

The redhead grunted and reached for some mashed potatoes. "What is?"

"Look. None of the Marauders are there," Alice pointed. Despite herself Lily looked. It was true. The Slytherin table was more reserved than usual and there was a very noticeable gap where the Marauders were meant to sit.

"Potter and Black weren't in Potions this morning this either," Arabella joined in. "They've never missed a lunchtime before. You don't reckon there's… there's something wrong, do you?"

"Serves them right if there is," Lily said tartly. But she remembered her sister's wedding, held in three days' time. She'd already asked Dumbledore for permission. Cissy would be upset if their cousin didn't get to go.

She completely ignored the thought of James Potter.

"Hey, Alice, what are you doing?" she asked in alarm as Alice suddenly got up and started walking.

"To find out," the blonde said over her shoulder. Lily watched in quietly appreciative resignation as Alice tapped a Kylie Brown, who was sitting lower down the table. Of course her best friend would have seen that she was worried for Sirius and gone to find out. No, not exactly worried for him, she amended, just worried he would ruin Narcissa's big day.

Alice returned with the exasperated expression one associated with speaking to Kylie Brown.

"Really, I can't believe that slut," she said, throwing herself down. "I swear her boobs were falling out, her robes were that tight – isn't it some kind of Guinness World Record to have a tight robe? I mean, they were _designed _to be loose! And then for ages she refused to tell me – "

"Get to the point," Arabella interrupted, forking a mouthful of beans onto her plate.

"Oh, yeah. The point. Well, the long and short of it is, the rumour accepted as being most credible by the gossip-mongers of Hogwarts is that the Marauders are..." She paused dramatically. "_Asleep_."

Lily blinked. "What?"

"Apparently there was a party of some sort in the Slytherin common room last night. A variety of witnesses testify to having seen them arrive, excluding one Remus Lupin. It is the generally accepted consensus that for once in their lives their guts couldn't handle the booze and they're recuperating in bed," Alice clarified smugly.

Lily opened her mouth to say that she'd never had a hangover in her life and neither had her sisters since Black genes were a sufficient antidote to alcohol. That Sirius - or any of the Marauders, with their borderline alcoholic behaviour - had a hangover was absurd. She'd seen them drinking herself often enough and knew their inclination to partying.

That wasn't what was actually said. A horrifying thought had occurred to her.

"Alice - you don't think they threw this party because I got to be Seeker? That they're celebrating how easy it'll be for them to beat us?"

"Of course not," Alice said comfortingly. "I heard it was for Mulciber's seventeenth birthday." She had heard no such thing but wanted to assuage her best friend's doubts.

Lily heaved a sigh of relief. "Well, I have my first Quidditch practice tonight in any case," she said. "At seven. I'm damned glad McGonagall let me off those detentions."

"Yeah," Arabella said. "Come on now, we have Ancient Runes."

The two girls stood up, waving goodbye at Alice who had Care of Magical Creatures. As they skirted past the Slytherin table Lily glanced at it.

They all seemed to be immersed in conversation, but she had the uncomfortable feeling that some - if not all - of them had been looking at her.

~#~#~

"Alright, listen up!" Frank roared. "We ain't a load of girls here, is that clear?" He noticed the glares of the female members of the team and smiled guiltily. "What I meant to say is, we're no carpet for the Slytherins to walk all over. And now we have a new Seeker, who I'm sure will do spectacularly, and when the match rolls round in a couple of days we'll beat them into next week! That clear?"

"Crystal," the Quidditch team said dutifully.

Lily kicked off from the ground for her warm-up lap. She was wearing her official Gryffindor Quidditch team robes for the first time, after Frank had presented them to her last night. She admitted that the scarlet material clashed dreadfully with her ponytailed red hair but the gold edging made it more bearable.

For a moment the thought flashed into her head that the green Slytherin robes would have brought out her emerald eyes wonderfully. She snorted at the thought. Since when did she, Delilah Black, do anything for appearance alone? She wasn't Kylie Brown. With more speed than necessary she completed her lap and landed when she was done.

Frank lugged out the case filled with Quidditch balls. He tossed the Quaffle to Lisa Holmes, Darren Barker and John Limpet, the three Chasers. Will Spinnet and Harvey Neiman – the Beaters – held tightly onto the struggling Bludgers to stop them escaping. As Keeper he had no balls. Then it was Lily's turn.

She gazed at the tiny golden ball with reverence.

The Snitch was tiny, half the size of her fist, with a pair of fluttering golden wings. She stroked the cold metal in awe. It was so beautiful, but so _cold_. Far stronger than it looked. She had a flashback to second year when she had heard Rabastan Lestrange describe her sister Narcissa in much the same way. Lily and Cissy were like that; all ethereal beauty without – and a core of steel within. Bellatrix and Andromeda on the other hand were as stunningly brooding as they looked. She immediately erased the thought of her banished sister.

"Right, off!" Frank ordered. Immediately six broomsticks rose into the air. Not Lily's. As Seeker, the normal parts of the game didn't affect her. She had to concentrate solely on finding the Snitch, which she released and watched fly away jaggedly. It had a two-minute headstart.

Two minutes later Lily joined her teammates in the air and started looking for the Snitch.

It was about seven-thirty, and with the onset of winter the sky had darkened immensely. The only illumination came from the castle some way off and the few torches dotting the stadium. Lily shivered, wishing she had thought to wear a jacket underneath her robes.

She caught sight of a flash of gold and dived to see but it turned out to be the torchlight reflecting off Darren Barker's glasses. It was so dark that her teammates were little more than huddled red shapes. Lily was careful, navigating around them slowly as they threw the Quaffle to each other and tried to get it past Frank. To make things harder for the Chasers the Beaters were on the opposing side so they had Bludgers to dodge too.

None of that had any bearing on Lily's job. The Beaters would protect her from Bludgers and she didn't need to worry about the Quaffle.

After a good twenty minutes, when Lily's entire body was frozen and she was seriously considering conjuring up a pair of gloves, she saw it.

"_Finally_!"

Her fingers closed around the little golden ball and she let out a triumphant yell. In her elation she forgot to be careful of her surroundings.

_Thwack!_

There was the horrible sound of metal meeting wood and a dull snap. Lily tumbled off her broom and fell the twelve or so metres to the ground.

"Lily!"

The rest of the team landed ungracefully. Frank sprinted over.

"Are you alright?"

"Does it fucking _look _like I'm alright?" she rasped, the excruciating pain in her arm and dull throbbing generally covering her body making her snappy. Frank was used to injured people being rude and didn't take it personally.

"We need to get you to the Hospital Wing. Spinnet, Neiman, get her up."

"No!" Lily hissed. "Not Hospital Wing!"

"Yes, Hospital Wing. You took a bad fall, Lily. You need to have Madam Pomfrey see you right away."

"Not going there for third time in three days," she said stubbornly. Her pride wouldn't allow it. She tried to say something but a moan came out instead.

"Spinnet, Neiman, I said get her up!" Frank commanded. "And I'll be having a chat with you boys. It's your duty to protect your Seeker from Bludgers! If this had happened in a game – "

"I'll do it, Captain," a voice interrupted. Frank turned to whoever it was. Lily tried and failed to lift her head.

"My mum's a Healer," Lisa Holmes continued. "I reckon I could do it." She knelt beside Lily. Lisa was tall and thin, with brown hair scraped back into a plait and russet eyes. She took out her wand.

"Broken arm?"

"Think so," Lily groaned. She bit back a hiss as Lisa lifted her busted arm and tapped it with her wand.

They waited. The pain didn't seem to be decreasing. Spinnet and Neiman edged closer.

"Thank you!" Lily gasped, sitting up suddenly. A wave of dizziness overcame her but she ignored it and smiled widely at Lisa. "Thank you so much. I just didn't want to have to go to the Hospital Wing, and I have patrols tonight."

"No problem," Lisa said, helping Lily to her feet.

"Right," Frank said. "Practice is over, people. Same time tomorrow night. Remember, we have a match next week!"

They mumbled an assent and hobbled off to the showers.

~#~#~

"Shit!"

Lily stopped dead as she heard the expletive that most certainly had not come from her. Slowly, she turned around, her narrow-eyed gaze scanning the dark corridor behind her. She saw a flash of white for a moment – just a glimpse that was paler than the shadows that surrounded it – and walked closer.

Coincidence of coincidences, it had been by the statue of the one-eyed witch that Mrs Norris had been sitting by in her last patrol.

She could see nothing there. Everything was silent, and she had the oddest feeling that the world itself was holding its breath. She was inclined to brush it off as lack of sleep and continue when she abruptly remembered a crucial fact.

James Potter had an Invisibility Cloak.

Instantly she whirled to face the statue, wand out, and whispered, "_Honumen revelio!_"

The spell that revealed human presence flared and showed her the vague outline of a group of people crouched in front of the statue. She strode forward.

"Come out where I can see you, Potter. I know you're there."

Nothing happened for a moment, then there was a shimmer and she saw the four boys straighten up. Sirius Black rounded on Potter and exploded.

"What the hell, James? How does _she _know?"

Potter didn't answer, looking at Lily with his blank hazel eyes. She meanwhile was glaring at Remus Lupin.

"Ill, Lupin," she said. "Really? Because you seem plenty fine to me. Fine enough to be gallivanting off with your friends to God knows where."

A dull flush spread over his cheeks at the clear disgust in her tone.

"And you're meant to be Head Boy," she said. "Well, twenty points from Slytherin of course. What were you even doing here round this statue?"

There was a silence as they refused to answer. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Alright then, keep quiet if you want to. I'm off."

Just as she turned her back Potter spoke.

"Not going to rat about the Cloak, Black?"

She looked at his face, wiped so meticulously of anything that hinted at vulnerability, but she had a strange feeling that he was waiting anxiously for her reply. She hesitated as she tried to sort out her own emotions.

"Not this time, Potter," she said at last. "After all, I owe you one for the Sprout thing." She walked off without looking back at him.

As she slid into bed later on, it occurred to her that it was the first time they had spoken where she had left without wanting to throttle him.


	8. Seven: The Three Broomsticks

**AN: Sorry its late. Its short and I've been ill, so please review to cheer me up? xx**

**Chapter Seven: The Three Broomsticks**

"It's bloody _freezing_," Alice said through chattering teeth as they trudged through the slush.

Lily grunted in acknowledgement, too cold to bother making more of an answer.

"It's not that bad," Frank said cheerfully. Being seventeen already, he was the only one among them who could perform a Heating Charm on his clothes while they were in Hogsmeade. Lily's birthday was in just over two months, Alice's in April and Arabella's in June. As a result they were all – in their opinions at least – in imminent danger of frostbite.

"Easy for you to say," Alice managed to spit out to her boyfriend. "Why can't you cast a Heating Charm on the rest of us?"

Frank shrugged. "Oh, really, chin up, my dear. It's good practice for if you ever decide to visit Antarctica."

While he was busy laughing at his own joke Lily made a mental list of the shops she wanted to check out. They were here to buy Narcissa and Lucius a wedding present, something that urgently needed to be done. It had been pure luck that there was a Hogsmeade visit so close to the date. She wasn't quite sure exactly what she wanted to get yet.

What sort of things did one get a sister on her wedding, anyway? A toaster, wasn't it?

"Here, let's try Honeydukes first," Arabella suggested. So they all trooped in, the girls sighing in relief as they were greeted with a blast of warm air.

Lily pushed her way through the throng of Hogwarts students to the rack labelled 'Gift Boxes.' Her dismay grew. Chocolate was all well and good, but somehow she didn't think farting spells hidden inside truffles or tarantula-shaped marshmallows were suitable wedding presents. Alice tapped her shoulder and held up a small packet.

"'Purple Hair Charm In Caramel Cream," Lily read out. She grimaced at the memory of _that _particular Marauder prank.

"It took you three days to get the purple dye out, remember?" Alice reminisced fondly.

"I don't want to," Lily said with a scowl. "Come on, let's try Parrymore's now for Lucius. This place is rubbish."

Obediently they trailed behind the redhead as she marched away from Honeydukes and into Parrymore's, a small shop selling expensive men's clothing. The moment they entered a curly-haired sales assistant hurried over.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes," Lily said, adopting a haughty manner. "I am Miss Delilah Black, and these are my friends. We are here to buy something for my soon-to-be brother-in-law Lucius Malfoy."

The woman's eyes nearly popped out of her head at the mention of two powerful wizarding names. She nodded eagerly.

"Of course, of course. It was in the papers, I recall – the Malfoy heir and Miss Narcissa Black. You must be very proud that your sister has made such an advantageous match – "

"I said I wanted to buy something, not listen to your drivel," Lily interrupted coldly. Alice muffled her laughter with a hand, but the redhead was conscious of the frowns on Arabella and Frank's faces. She knew they didn't approve of her acting as stuck-up as people expected her to be, but sometimes it was necessary, she thought defensively. The simple mention of her name had helped them out of sticky situations in the past. They hadn't complained _then_, had they? Only Alice understood how it was for her.

"Of course, Miss Black," the saleslady said with a blotchy flush. She led Lily toward the back of the shop.

"Now, what were you looking on buying for Mr Malfoy? A suit perhaps, tie, dress robes?"

"Tie," Lily decided. It was a nice impersonal gift. She had no real opinion on Lucius Malfoy, although they had been civil on the few occasions they'd run across each other, and a tie signified that perfectly. The saleslady nodded.

"What colour?"

"Slytherin-green and silver," she said. The woman ran off and reappeared a few seconds later holding an emerald silk tie with silver threads glinting in it.

"Will this do?"

"Perfectly," Lily said. "How much?"

"No cash needed, Miss Black," the shop assistant said. "Your family has a tab here. Mr Sirius is a regular customer."

He would be, Lily thought as she left the shop carrying a small glossy black bag. Now Lucius was done. Cissy was left.

"A dress?" Frank asked. "Your sister likes clothes, doesn't she?"

"I don't know her size," she admitted. "I think I'll go for some jewellery."

H.M. Stanton was large and golden, like much of the products it sold. Their feet sank into the plush red carpet. Alice, Arabella and Frank settled themselves on the leather sofa while Lily wandered around. She wanted a necklace maybe, or perhaps a bracelet, with matching earrings. She examined the delicate jewellery that lay behind thick glass walls.

"Good afternoon," Lily said to the man sitting behind the display. "I'd like to have some things custom-made, please."

He produced a pen and clipboard out of nowhere. "No problem. I am Stanton, you are?"

"Delilah Black," she said. He straightened infinitesimally and started scribbling.

"What type of jewellery would you like to order?"

"A silver necklace, with the letter 'N' in emeralds dangling from it, and of course matching earrings. Throw in a silver and emerald bracelet, too."

He coughed delicately. "The full set is quite expensive…"

"Money is no question. Not for my family," she said, her voice dark with steel.

Stanton bowed from the waist up and murmured that of course it wasn't.

"I'll throw in an extra hundred Galleons if I get it in tomorrow morning's post at Hogwarts," Lily said casually. His eyes bulged. Possibly it was more than double the amount of money than he would have thought to ask, but there was only a couple of days left before the wedding.

Lily signed the order form and left the jeweller's. "Where do you three want to go now?" she asked.

"I want Madam Puddifoot's," Alice said.

Frank groaned. "God, no, please. I can feel myself losing my masculinity by just _entering _that place. It's so… pink!"

His girlfriend scowled. "Funny, that's not what you said when you took me there for our first ever date two years ago – "

"Enough," Arabella interjected. "The Three Broomsticks is good enough for all of us, don't you agree?"

Lily did, and after some grumbling the group eventually headed to the pub. It was filled with students trying to escape the biting wind. She exhaled breathily as the warm air caressed her frozen limbs and plopped onto a seat.

"I want a Firewhiskey," Frank said.

"Then get off your arse and get one yourself, Mr Dying-of-frostbite-is-good-practice-for-Antarctica," Lily said without bothering to look at him. He scowled.

"Well, I can't help it if you aren't old enough to do a Heating Charm yet!"

"You could have cast one on us!" she snapped back.

Alice jumped in. "That's enough. Lily, please get us the drinks, then Frank will do them for the next five times we come to The Three Broomsticks. Alright?"

Neither of them were especially happy about this arrangement but Lily resignedly stood up.

"So what do you want?"

"Butterbeer for me," Arabella chirped.

"Same," said Alice.

Lily trudged over to where Ma Delaney, the landlady, stood behind the counter with her infant daughter Rosmerta hiding behind her skirts. Ma Del was a large cheerful woman fully capable of sorting out brawls in her pub. She beamed.

"Lily, darling! So good to see you again? What'll you be having then?"

"Three Butterbeers and a Firewhiskey please," she said. The pub was crowded, a long line starting to build up behind her. She leaned her elbows on the counter to prevent getting jostled.

Ma Del handed her the four bottles and Lily thanked her before walking off.

For the rest of her life, Lily would not be able to explain the strange tingling that came over her body right then. She stopped dead - ignoring an oath as the person behind her walked into her - and scanned her surroundings.

James Potter sat watching her.

She had _known _it was him. Known with an absolute certainty that frightened her, because why on Earth should she be so attuned to his presence? He was in a booth only a few metres away sitting with the rest of the Marauders. She narrowed her eyes when she saw who else was sitting with him.

The pockmarked face was unmistakable. She would have come of her own accord, even if Sirius hadn't stood up and steered her over to their table with one cool firm hand on her arm.

"Rookwood, meet my cousin Delilah," he said cordially.

Augustus Rookwood, one of the followers of the Dark Lord, grinned up at her. "Not Lily Black? Only Gryffindor?"

"The one and only," Potter confirmed. Lily caught his eye and he smirked at her. She pulled out of Sirius' grip.

"I'll have no part of this. Good_bye_."

"Not so fast," Potter said casually. She heard the hidden warning in his voice and her ire bubbled up. "Rookwood here needs some help. Don't you think it's time you proved your loyalties? Show us you're nothing like that sister of yours?"

Lily stared straight into his hazel eyes. They were probing, cynical, as edged with darkness as always, but there was no real malice behind his words.

"I don't have a sister," she said finally, and walked away. He didn't try to stop her. Later, she would wonder if she had only imagined the lack of venom that seemed to be apparent today. She would also regret not staying to listen to exactly what it was Rookwood needed help with.

Because then she might have stopped him.


	9. Eight: What He Did

**AN: A HUGE thanks to everyone who wished me well! This chappie's for Lily Knighte, who enjoyed Lily's Blackishness in the shops :) I've decided to try and upload once a week, so the wedding should be along in a bit! xx**

**Chapter Eight: What He Did**

At breakfast on Friday morning, Morrigan brought Lily three letters. The first was from Dumbledore. It was little more than a furled note, and it filled her with irritation.

_Dear Miss Black,_

_The Portkey to transport you, Mr Black and Mr Potter to Malfoy Manor will be ready at seven a.m. tomorrow morning. Please arrive at my office at that time. The password is Spider Mallow._

_Professor Dumbledore_

She'd forgotten Sirius and Potter were coming with her, although her insides lurched when she read Potter's name. It was mostly trepidation - after all, she wanted to see him as little as possible - but as she remembered the odd look in his eyes at Hogmeade the day before she found herself actually _wanting _to see him again. Just to assure herself she'd imagined it.

Because she would always hate James Potter and he would always hate her, and a lot of it came from That Night four years ago and something he'd done to a girl who wasn't her.

The next one pleased her. It was a box wrapped in black silk, the letters of the jeweller embossed on it. She slit the slender envelope that accompanied it and read. Blah, blah, blah...thank you for shopping at H.M Samuel, have a nice day...

The third letter was the oddest of them all, and Lily didn't know exactly what it made her feel.

It was from Bellatrix Black.

The trademark black ribbon curled around the scroll surprised her. No letters in two months, then two in the same week? She flattened the parchment with two bowls of fruit in the corners so she could carry on eating her cornflakes as she read it. Her oldest sister's looping longhand was scrawled haphazardly across the surface. That was like Bellatrix - such beautiful writing, presented so roughly.

_Lily - _

_I haven't much time right now, and I don't wish to say much in case this bfalls into the wrong hands. I shall see you tomorrow at Cissy's wedding in any case. Remember, do not under any circumstances mention Andromeda. I have a piece of advice that I want you to follow: WEAR YOUR PENDANT AT ALL TIMES. DO NOT TAKE IT OFF. Whenever you go outside, even places like Hogsmeade, ensure your pendant is fully visible. Promise me._

_-Bella_

"What's wrong?" Alice asked, seeing Lily frown as she crumpled the letter in her fist. "Who's that from?"

"Bella," she answered.

"And what does it say?"

Lily hesitated. "To wear my Black pendant at all times."

Alice nodded. The Black pendant was a necklace all Black females had made for them when they were born, charmed in some way to be unique. Males had a signet ring. Naturally Lily had one, but she hadn't worn it in years. It made her feel slightly uncomfortable when everyone's eyes were automatically drawn to it. That didn't mean it was ostentatious; it simply exuded its own power, and she knew how dangerous that it could be.

"Has she said why she wants you to wear it?" Alice asked.

Lily shook her head. "No, but I'll write and ask her. What do you think I should do?"

Alice shrugged. "Wear it," she said simply. "Bellatrix is telling you to, and no doubt there's a good reason." Her clear blue eyes watched steadily as the redhead took a quill from her pencil case and started on her reply. She had her own suspicions as to why Bellatrix Black would want her sister easily identifiable as one of their family, but she would never mention them. They would only hurt her best friend even if Lily knew them to be true.

"Something else," Lily said after she had sent Morrigan off. "I got a note from Dumbledore, and he says I have to be at his office to catch the Portkey at seven a.m. tomorrow."

"Better set your alarm at six then," Alice said. "Potter and Sirius will be there, won't they? Want me to come see you off?"

"There's no need," she said. "Don't worry, you have a lie-in. It will be the weekend, after all."

They stood up to go to lessons. They had first hour together in Defence Against the Dark Arts, but Lily instead pushed her bag into Alice's hands.

"You go," she said. "I'm going to get my pendant like Bella said."

Alice nodded and went to the classroom carrying both her bag and Lily's. Meanwhile the redhead flew up the stairs in Gryffindor Tower into the empty dorms. With a flick of her wand all the neatly folded clothes inside her trunk rose, depositing themselves on her bed. She leaned over the side to look.

Yes, there it was. Lily reached down and drew out the small black box. It was plain and unadorned, opening with a simple metal clasp. She tried not to remember the last time she had opened it in third year and gazed down into its contents.

The pendant sat resplendent on its white velvet bed. It was made of a large, burnished gold disc hanging from slender golden chains. On the disc was stamped the Black coat-of-arms and its motto.

_Toujours pur. _Always pure.

Lily clinched the necklace around her slim white neck, the disc hanging just above the valley between her breasts. A cool haze settled over her. It was so almost physical she could feel it; the rush of icy self-awareness, a harsher tilt to her thoughts. She tried to shake it away. Of course one of the side effects of wearing a Black pendant was to unconsciously act more like a Black, but Lily was determined. She would fight it.

Of course she could. She was the one in Gryffindor, wasn't she?

~#~#~

"Look!"

Lily jumped and looked up from her pile of homework. Alice had fallen in through the portrait hole, her eyes wild. She leapt to her feet at once.

"What's wrong?"

Alice thrust a piece of paper at her. Lily took it and saw that it was the evening copy of the Daily Prophet. Her eyes widened in horror when she saw the front page.

"No," she whispered, sinking into her armchair.

_MINISTRY CONFIRMS ROOKWOOD RESPONSIBLE_

_Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic, has just officially confirmed that Ministry employee Augustus Rookwood, 28, is behind the murders of a school of Muggle children and Mr and Mrs Partington. Mr Christopher Partington works for the Goblin Liaisons Office. His son Henry is a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_"But he couldn't have done it himself," a senior Ministry official confides. "We know he had to have had help, only we don't know who."_

_The death toll is 765 Muggles and 2 wizards. It is being passed off as a gas explosion._

There was a bitter taste in Lily's mouth. She set the paper down, gazing unseeingly into the fire. Hundreds of Muggles and two wizards... her mind drifted to Henry Partington. He had been Potter's partner for Potions.

Potter. A terrible fury rose up in her, burning away all rational thoughts. Had she thought he might have been getting better? How wrong she was. She remembered how she had seen him in The Three Broomsticks with Rookwood. Sirius had asked for her help...

And why was she even surprised? Not Sirius - their family would probably commend him - but even Potter had a history of entanglement in the Dark Arts. His father Charlus Potter was a well-known member of the Dark Lord's inner circle. 

But they'd gone too far.

Lily ignored Alice as she strode to the portrait hole and vaulted through. It was nearly curfew and the corridors were deserted. She was numb inside, numb because she knew that soon she would ignite and nothing in heaven nor hell would stop her. Her full red lips were pressed tightly together.

Without giving herself time to second-guess her decision Lily stopped in front of what was apparently a blank wall in the dungeons. She knew it was the Slytherin common room, and the password was easy. It really was very predictable.

"Serpentine!" she hissed at it.

The wall slid to the side silently. She glided through, her blood burning slowly in her veins. The firelight flickered off the stone walls of the dungeon and illuminated the movements as the handful of people inside looked up at her. Their eyes widened in shock.

Blonde-haired Evan Rosier broke the silence first. "What the hell are _you _doing in here?" He pushed himself off a wall and walked closer. "This isn't your common room, Gryffindor. And how did you know the password?"

She ignored his questions. "Where are James Potter and Sirius Black?" Her voice almost shook and betrayed her.

Rosier laughed. "Seen the _Prophet_, have you?" Before she could answer he jerked his head. "Lupin's over there, and he'd know."

Lily said no word of thanks as she brushed past him in the direction he had indicated. She knew they were currently muttering behind her, wondering what she would do, shocked at her sudden invasion. How many time had a Gryffindor come into the Slytherin common room? It was against the rules. She smiled grimly, aware that she had probably set some kind of record.

"Lupin."

The sandy-haired Marauder raised his head and paled when he saw her. "Lily - "

"I said, _Lupin_," she cut him off, and he lowered his gaze as he acknowledged the use of his surname. She'd never done that before.

"Where are Potter and Sirius?" Her voice was frosty, and Lily was surprised to find that she was disappointed in him. Not angry, like she was with her cousin and Potter. Even if she was furious with them, she couldn't say it was unexpected. Lupin on the other hand...

She'd actually _liked _him.

"Lily, you have to understand, I have no power over them. I can't control them and they rarely listen to me - "

She was in no mood to listen to a half-arsed apology or worse still, an excuse. "Potter and Sirius, Lupin. Now."

"Padfoot - I mean Sirius - is in the Library, and James is..."

The way he trailed off gave him away. Lily pivoted around, already knowing who she would face.

"Potter," she said. A blank statement.

"Black," he replied. "To what do I owe this honour?"

She was vaguely aware of Lupin melting away into the shadows, but she was distracted by the fact that Potter's eyes had immediately drifted down to her pendant... and then a little lower to her chest. Something hungry flared in his dilated pupils. She didn't like it, for the simple reason that she seemed to be liking it a little too much, if the tingling of her body was any indication.

But this was _James Potter_. Lily steeled her voice. "My eyes are up here, Potter."

"Oh, I know," he said, meeting her gaze with sudden amusement. He took a step toward her. It took everything she had to not take a corresponding step back. He looked so _wild _here, in his natural habitat, raw energy and something primal coming off him in waves. Black hair tousled and lean body relaxed.

She knew better than to show weakness. People like him could smell it like sharks.

Lily remembered her reason for coming in the first place and the strange fluttery feeling in her stomach died. "How could you?" she hissed. "Innocent children, Potter! I thought even you would have a limit - "

He interrupted. "Look, Black. Have you ever considered that maybe, people son't have a choice?"

She looked at him in disbelief. "Don't have a choice? Everyone has a choice!"

"That's where you're wrong," he fired back. "You wouldn't understand, but it's expected of me. I have to do this."

"My family expected me to be in Slytherin. And was I?" she asked rhetorically.

"The Blacks," he said deliberately," have never been quite as high in the Dark Lord's favour as the Potters."

Her sisters and cousins would have considered that a grievous insult. Lily simply shrugged. "Your point?"

Then Potter said something she'd never predicted. "Alright, Little Miss Holier-Than-Thou. If you're so mad about this, why didn't you stop him?"

She gaped. "Beg your pardon?"

"You could have taken him up on his offer in the Three Broomsticks," he said maddeningly casually. "Then a whole bunch of Muggles wouldn't have died. Question is, why didn't you? Because you were too scared of Rookwood. So before you go pointing fingers..."

"I was not scared!" Lily spluttered. But what he had said had hit too close to home. She felt guilt and self-doubt rising up in her, gnawing at her insides. His smirk told her what she already knew: this battle was over. And he had won.

_But not the war_, she thought viciously and turned to go. As the wall slid back he yelled, "See you tomorrow, Black!"

Of course, the wedding. Lily sighed tiredly. She'd die happy if she never had to see James Potter again, but that wasn't the case, so the million-dollar question was how would she survive two days in his presence without murdering the bastard?


	10. Nine: The Wedding, Part One: All Or None

_****_**AN: Not a week! Dedicated to Glittering Moonlight, who wanted Lily to be on good terms with her sisters :) Not really James in this chapter, but I've made up for it with a tidbit about their past. There's an important AN at the bottom, please read it!**

**Chapter Nine: The Wedding, Part One: All or None**

The alarm went off. Lily rolled over, groaning when memories of the night before assaulted her senses. Damn Potter. Damn him to the bloody fires of hell -

She poked one toe out gingerly. Almost immediately she withdrew it, shuddering. Waking up in winter was horrific. It was six a.m., and the sun had yet to rise. She cursed her lack of foresight in not having placed a dressing gown at the foot of her bed last night.

Well, this was going to be like pulling a splinter out: the faster it was done, the less pain it involved. Lily staggered out of bed and grabbed her wand from the bedside table.

"_Accio _dressing gown!"

The folded, fluffy white object zoomed out of her trunk. She snatched it out of the air. Alice and Arabella were still asleep, the lucky bitches, so Lily took Alice's pair of bunny slippers and shuffled to the bathrooms.

A shower with the water dial turned to the hottest possible setting did wonders to wake her up. She dried her elbow-length scarlet waves with an incantation. No doubt it would be properly styled once she got to Malfoy Manor, so she left it as it was and pulled on a jumper and jeans as quickly as possible.

Lily walked to the Great Hall for breakfast. The steaming plates of food were all set up, but nobody was up at this hour. She was the sole occupant. As she nursed a mug of hot chocolate she wondered if Potter and Black had already eaten or were yet to come. She suspected the latter.

Ah, Potter. Lily disliked the multitude of emotions his name called up within her. She hated him, she knew she did, and what he had done That Night was unforgivable. The passing years had only made him crueller. His role in what Rookwood had done only evidenced that.

And yet...She recalled the curious expression on his face as he had said, _Some people don't have a choice_. Maybe he had a point. She had heard of Charlus Potter, met him on several occasions, and he was even more charming, manipulative and ruthless than his son. That was saying something.

But James Potter's father hadn't forced him to do what he'd done four years ago. That particular bit of sadism had been all him and Sirius. Lily bit into a croissant to combat the faint nausea as a white-hot memory flashed into being.

_"She's here," Potter said. Even at thirteen he was arrogant and handsome, and he walked like he owned the world. But his gorgeous features were dark and twisted, a feral light in his eyes. "What shall we do with her?"_

_Sirius gazed at Lily uninterestedly. "Well, this one wasn't meant to be here," he said. She bared her teeth in a useless show of defiance. Her hands had been bound behind her back, and without her wand she was powerless to undo the tight Muggle knot. _

_"I want her," Potter said decisively. "She'll be good fun. Any objections?"_

_"Course not," her cousin said._

_Potter, he who was the devil incarnate, swished his wand. "_Crucio!"

_Lily screamed._

She shook away her dark thoughts with a sip of scalding chocolate and stood up. What had happened, had happened, and a girl was dead because of it. S

Lily didn't know why she was thinking of That Night today of all days. She usually tried to keep it buried in the farthest reaches of her brain, but her mood was odd and mercurial. Her slender fingers unconsciously came up to play with the Black pendant.

There was still half an hour before she was due at Dumbledore's office. She went back to the dorm, moving slowly, her mind forcedly fixed on lighter things. But James Potter's cruel, striking face still hovered on her heels.

~#~#~

"Spider Mallow," Lily told the gargoyle.

It squinted at her then allowed her through. She knocked on Dumbledore's door, tongue flicking out to moisten suddenly dry lips.

"Come in," he called. She did so. A duffle bag was hitched over her shoulder, trainers silent on the thick carpet as she glided over to where Dumbledore was seated behind his desk.

"Good morning, Miss Black," he said cordially. "Please have a seat. Mr Potter and Mr Black have yet to arrive, although unless I am much mistaken..." He cocked his head to the side. Sure enough, there was a rap at the door, and in what Lily considered an example of the heights of rudeness it was shoved open before the professor could answer.

Sirius entered first. His raven hair gleamed in the candlelight, irises more silver than grey. A backpack was slung over one shoulder. Potter came in next, and before Lily managed to force herself to look away she took in his sleepily heavy-lidded eyes and trademark windswept locks. Her heartbeat quickened. Hastily, she focussed on a corner of the desk.

What was wrong with her? Hadn't she been ruminating on him just this morning?

"Good morning, boys," Dumbledore said. "This is the Portkey." He indicated a brilliant golden feather on his desk. Most probably it had come from Fawkes, Lily thought, glancing around for the phoenix.

"It will take you to Malfoy Manor. On Sunday morning it will return you to my office, so remember not to be late. Ah, here it comes."

The feather had begun to glow blue-white. Lily stretched out a finger to touch it, shifting so that Sirius and Potter could fit on too. She noticed that they were careful to keep a distance between them.

Her navel jerked, and they were off.

Lily had travelled by Portkey before. She despised it, preferring Floo powder, but had to admit that in some ways it had distinct advantages. An invisible force had glued her fingertip to the feather to prevent her falling off. The time was brief and lasted for only a few seconds. As her feet found purchase on the ground she stumbled sideways into a hard body.

"Get off," Potter said. His voice was low and harsh.

Glaring, Lily silently snatched herself away and blinked away her dizziness. They were in one of the sitting rooms of Malfoy Manor. A fire burned in the grate and the curtains were pulled to reveal the slowly lightening sky. Fawkes' feather lay on the floor.

"Good to see you again," a voice said.

She jumped. In her perusal of the room, she had missed the person sitting in an armchair in front of them. Rabastan Lestrange was a few years older than her with black hair that hung in his equally dark eyes. He was the spitting image of his older brother Rodolphus - Bellatrix's husband.

Lily had always liked him and she smiled, noting that he had directed his comment to her. "You too, Rab," she said. "Everything ready for the big day? How's my sister?"

"Cissy's had about ten mental breakdowns since waking up the same number of minutes ago," he replied with an eye-roll. "She always was the drama queen. Lucius is better at hiding his anxiety." Rabastan stood. "Hello, James, Sirius. Haven't seen you two in quite some time."

"You know how it is," Sirius said airily. "So much to do, so little time..."

"I hear that congratulations are in order," he said. "Rodolphus tells me you two were the masterminds behind the Rookwood killings."

He said it so casually, and Lily was reminded of how it was nothing to them - the murder of Muggles, _children. _Yet Rabastan at least was so kind to her. She knew what a good person he could be. How could she reconcile that with the man who spoke so easily of such cruelty?

Her mood had soured, or maybe it had never been all that good in the first place, and she coughed loudly. "Nice as all this is can we get a move on? I want to see Cissy and my room."

"Course," Rabastan said, winking at her. "Right this way."

He led them out of the room, and Lily could not shake her feeling of unease as the eyes of Lucius' ancestors followed them.

~#~#~

"Lily!" Bellatrix said exultantly, crushing her younger sister to her bosom. "Look how tall you are!"

Bella had never been one to do things by half, Lily reflected as she laughingly tried to wriggle away. Either she was joyous or heartbroken, raging or sobbing. That was the curse of the Blacks; either they were like Lily and Narcissa and were detached and impervious, or like Bellatrix and Sirius swung from one extreme to the other. She wondered if there had ever been a Black who could express emotions normally. She doubted it.

"You need to eat more," Bellatrix said critically. "I always did say Durmstrang had richer food, but Father point-blank refused to send us there - "

"I'm fine, Bella," Lily assured her. The two of them were standing in the sumptuous bedroom the redhead had been given for the duration of her stay. Bellatrix was currently winding her flaming hair into an elaborate do.

"Cissy wanted to see you, but I said not till I'd done your hair," she confided. "She isn't allowed to see Lucius so naturally she's been a bit nervy."

Lily hmm'ed. "How's Rodolphus?"

"With Lucius. There, all done!"

Lily looked into the gilt-edged mirror. Two curls had been allowed to spring free to frame her oval face, the rest swept up to the top of her head and pinned in place with a large diamond. She smiled and got to her feet.

"What now?"

"To see Mother and Cissy," Bellatrix said. Her eyes flashed down and she added almost abruptly, "I'm glad to see you've taken my advice."

With a start Lily remembered. "Bella, what did you mean in your letter? You said I should wear my pendant at all times - "

"Not here," she hissed. Her voice was low and urgent. "It can't be spoken of now, it's not safe. I promise I'll explain in greater detail later. Okay?"

"Fine," Lily said reluctantly. "Let's go."

Druella Black, nee Rosier, was sitting majestically on the bed as her youngest and oldest daughter entered her middle daughter's bedroom. She had Veela roots that had passed down to Narcissa but her eyes were not the same cold grey. She looked up as they came in.

"Delilah," she greeted crisply.

Lily straightened her back and clasped her hands behind her back. She played this part around everyone from her family but most particularly when with her vehemently anti-Muggle parents.

"Mother," she said. "You're looking well."

Druella raised a silvery-blonde eyebrow. "As are you, Delilah. How's school?"

She knew where this was leading. "Good, Mother. I'm getting Os in nearly all my subjects."

"How are Sirius and James? Still up to mischief?"

For incomprehensible reasons, Lily's mother adored the only Potter heir. She hid her scowl. "Yes, even though their friend Remus Lupin is Head Boy."

"Lupin," Druella repeated. "Pureblood?"

"Yes, but they're new money."

"That explains it. Practically nobodies," Druella dismissed. "What about you, Delilah? The McKinnon girl and the Longbottom boy?"

The contempt in her words was impossible to miss. Lily fought the urge to say something she knew she would regret. "They're fine," she said shortly.

"I hear Gryffindor's lost the Quidditch Cup to Slytherin for nearly a decade now," Druella said slyly. "Your House is hardly doing well, is it?"

"I'm Gryffindor Seeker now," Lily said. "So maybe we'll be getting better, if I'm anything like Sirius."

She saw her mother's surprise before it was hastily hidden and felt a stab of triumph. It took a lot to crack the Black mask Druella had managed to cultivate after her marriage.

The exchange between them was signalled as over as Druella deliberately turned her head away. Narcissa spoke, something she had known better than to do while her mother conversed with her sister.

"Well done, Lily," she said. "I'm sure you'll gain your House lots of points. Come here, we need to fit you with your bridesmaid's dress." She floated over to the expansive wardrobe and pulled out a hanger. Attached to it was a silky black confection decorated lavishly. Lily wrinkled her nose.

"Those are the bridesmaid's dresses?"

"We thought they would be ironic," Bellatrix put in. "Since I'm maid of honour, and you and Regina Malfoy are bridesmaids. Lucius' side of the family are dressed in white."

Lily acquiesced. For the next few hours she allowed her sisters and a whole range of professional people to fit the dress to her, cover her face with makeup, redo her hair (Bellatrix looked furious) and perform a variety of other activities.

After that, she handed her wrapped wedding presents to their mother who spirited the parcels away.

"Can I go now?" Lily asked, struggling not to yawn.

Narcissa was busy having her eyelids painted glittery green. "Of course," she said. "Go and explore the house or something. If you're hungry, ask Rabastan to show you to the kitchen. The house-elves will whip something up for you."

Lily nodded and made her escape.

~#~#~

James Potter certainly looked good in a suit.

Lily blushed when she thought it, defiantly embarrassed. The black blazer outlined his lean, hard muscles almost as well as her clinging silk dress did to her curves. He looked powerful , standing there surveying the crowd with his tie loosely knotted.

She hadn't been able to take her eyes off him the whole time.

Lucius and Narcissa would be leaving for their honeymoon in a few hours. Right now the guests were busy talking, laughing, drinking and eating. A few couples were on the dance floor. Bellatrix and Rodolphus were among them.

Lily nibbled at a prawn. She was bored. She didn't like the champagne, and wasn't about to go for any of the more hardcore drinks, although she had seen both Sirius and Potter guzzling down some beer. Sirius at least was already of age. Potter turned seventeen two months after her.

She tapped one of her high heels against the floor.

"Dance with me, cousin dear?"

Lily blinked and narrowed her eyes. Sirius was standing in front of her, one hand outstretched. His words rang with mockery. A _no _was on the tip of her tongue, but then she caught sight of her mother's glare, and sighed.

"Very well then."

She stood up. He led them both onto the dance floor. Potter was sitting at one of the tables, talking to some blonde, and Lily quashed the strange feeling that clawed at her when she saw him touch her arm. What was _wrong _with her today?

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen such a perfect example of hypocrisy."

Lily tore her gaze away and lifted her eyes to Sirius. "Whatever do you mean?"

The contempt on his face was unmistakeable. "No, really, it stuns me. You do everything in your power to let everyone know that you aren't like the rest of us blood purist Slytherins, then when it suits you, you take up our mantle. Your slyness honestly impresses me. Clearly you were Sorted into the wrong House."

Lily still didn't know what he meant, but the fact that he was disgusted did not escape her. Her grip on him tightened. They had all but ceased to dance now. Instead they were leaning closer to each other, words hissed lowly.

"Are you talking about the pendant? Because it tells everyone I'm a Black?"

"Hallelujah. She finally gets it," he said.

Her anger flared. "You don't know what you're talking about. I'm only wearing it because Bella told me to! Unlike _you_, I have a good relation with my siblings."

Throwing in the fact that Sirius and Regulus were like cats and dogs was admittedly a low blow. His lips thinned, but he managed to get out a taunting laugh. "You're so clueless, my little cousin, it's almost adorable. It's all or none: either you're with us, or you're against us." His hands on her waist were so harsh they almost pained her. "You can't have it both ways, Lily. Hiding behind our name while you preach for Muggles. Soon the time will come when you'll have to make your choice. Be sure to make the right one."

She dug her nails into his skin. "Explain, Sirius, how honouring my sister's wishes makes me a hypocrite."

"She didn't want you to know," he said thoughtfully, "but I think I'll tell you all the same. Then you won't have an excuse. You see, Lily, your haloed Bellatrix is one 0f the Dark Lord's most faithful servants. She's done things that make what James, Rookwood and I did look like child's play. She's planning something big to appease _him_, and she wants you protected. That's why she told you to wear the pendant."

He released her and stepped back. "Well, Lily? Knowing that, are you going to be showing everyone what a little hypocrite you are, or are you going to make a name for your own?"

Lily could only stare blankly at him. She'd known her sister had done terrible things - what member of her family hadn't? But... she'd never been so involved before. Usually they were incidents she read about in the newspaper and sneaking suspicions she never voiced.

It had to be something big indeed if Bellatrix was telling her to wear the Black pendant.

She whirled around, pushing remorselessly past people. Out. She needed to get out. Somewhere she could breathe, where the blood that drenched everyone's hands but her own wasn't so close, so almost visible. She couldn't brush it all under the carpet anymore like she had been doing for the past six years.

_Something needs to give_.

_It's all or none: either you're with us, or you're against us._

After a while Lily realised she had stopped running. She was standing on a balcony, bathed in moonlight, looking down at the beautiful and expansive Malfoy grounds. Her fingers brushed over the burnished gold of her pendant. They traced the embossed lines of the coat-of-arms and motto. _Toujours pur_: always pure. How could she in good conscience wear it when she didn't agree with what it stood for? Yet how could she take it off and break so many hearts by renouncing her heriatge?

A footstep alerted her, the brush of cloth. Lily turned around. Somehow she wasn't surprised to see him.

"Hello," James Potter said.

**AN: Me again! So, I was thinking about doing a story about either Narcissa or Bellatrix. Lily won't be their sister. They may or may not be AU. I'll update chapters alternating between this story and that one. Please tell me which sister's story you want, then I'll post the summary next chapter :)**


	11. Ten: The Wedding, Part Two: Snap

**AN: This chapter is for peacock33, who gave me an amazing review! Though of course, I love all you guys who review ;) The general consensus was a Narcissa story, but since Little Emily voted Bellatrix I've put both summaries at the bottom. Remeber, they may be AU.**

**I had a complaint from someone that I'd made James too evil, so here it is clearly: JAMES HAS DONE SOME PRETTY TERRIBLE THINGS, AND IT WILL BE A LONG, LONG ROAD TO HIS REDEMPTION. I DO NOT PLAN TO HAVE LILY FORGIVE HIM RIGHT AWAY THOUGH IT WILL HAPPEN AT SOME POINT. So now you all now, onto the story! **

**Chapter Ten: The Wedding, Part Two: Snap**

"Potter," Lily said warily.

He came closer, out of the shadows, and her defences went up. She edged away. Dammit, she'd left her wand in her bedroom; there was no place to put it in a dress like this.

Not that she would need it. She threw quite a punch, thank you very much, though Muggle fighting was crude and barbaric.

"What're you doing out here then?" he asked.

"None of your business," she replied curtly. "And the same could be asked of you."

"I followed you," he said. She frowned, squinting and wondering if he was drunk. There was a slight slur to his words.

He still had the power to put her on edge. Even when her brain was telling her that she was a formidably powerful witch now, her body still betrayed her, taking her back to a time when she had been helpless before him. After all, she hadn't always been the straight-O student she was now.

"My time is precious, Potter," she said. "What do you want?"

"You in my bed," he said.

For a moment she gaped in pure surprise, then she laughed harshly. Most definitely drunk. "You're insane, Potter," she said. "I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last fucking boy left on Earth. I have self-esteem, you know. What the _hell _could possibly make you think that I would want to sleep with you?"

She was still too fixated on what Sirius had said to dredge up the appropriate anger over Potter's comment. The surprise was there though. He'd never shown any indication that he thought of her as having actual female parts. Clearly, he'd had one too many beers.

"I saw the way you were staring at me," he stated proudly. "Girls always stare at me."

The utter arrogance in his tone made her snarl, her upper lip lifting to bare her even white teeth. "True enough," she said. "But how many of those girls have you tortured?"

She could see from his expression that she'd thrown him for a loop. They'd never mentioned That Night. For four long years she'd said nothing, simmering silently, but suddenly Lily was tired of pretending. Pretending it hadn't happened, pretending it hadn't fazed her, pretending it hadn't left her with an all-consuming hatred of James bloody Potter that she fought to conceal beneath her famous icy exterior...

It had been a matter of pride for her. Showing him that nothing could crack her perfect mask, least of all something _he _had done. He would not break her control. Maybe it was her pendant or maybe it was just her, but Lily Black was done with hiding it.

James Potter was going to get what was coming to him.

He read it all in the sudden hardness of her eyes and tilting of her chin. She took a step forward and her blazing intensity made him take a step back, realising as he did so that a whole new set of rules were about to be written. Before, they had been centred on her losing control. Now she had lost it and she just didn't care.

"Careful, Potter," she told him, her voice empty. "It's on my terms now."

"You wouldn't Cruciate me," he said. "That would make you just as bad as I was."

"_Was_?" she said disbelievingly. "How about _are_?"

He looked away, refusing to answer. "I told you before. You don't know everything, and you wouldn't understand."

"You're right," she said. "But what I do know is that I have you in my sights, James Potter, and I'm about to pull the trigger."

She brushed past him before either of them could realise that she had spoken his first name for the first time in her life.

~#~#~

The moment the Portkey deposited them in Dumbledore's empty office Lily stormed out. Her mind was running over and over again on what Potter had said the night before, so similar to what he had said when she had confronted him in his common room.

What wouldn't she understand? What didn't she know?

Four years ago, Potter and Sirius had been just a pair of thirteen-year-olds eager to do all they could to service the newly risen Dark Lord. She recalled the conversation she'd had with Regulus over it. He'd been wary of them jumping in feet-first; she had expected it.

She knew something had happened in the meantime. The fervour in their eyes had died, replaced with grim determination. So maybe they'd seen what it was truly like. But that didn't affect the fact that Potter had had a hand in her greatest shame, the night when her own incompetence had overwhelmed her, and for that he had to pay.

"I'm back!"

She flung open the door to the dorm. Alice, who had been sitting cross-legged on her bed, jumped up with a squeal.

"I've missed you!"

The two girls hugged. Lily felt her troubles melt away as they were apt to do in her best friend's presence. They settled on her bed, and she looked around.

"Where's Arabella?"

"I sent her on an errand," Alice said. "I figured you had...things to tell me that she wouldn't quite understand, being a Muggleborn and all."

Lil's eyes filled abruptly with tears. Instantly Alice wrapped her arms around her, hushing and rocking her backwards and forth.

"What's wrong, darling?"

"Fuck it, I don't know," Lily sobbed. Suddenly she felt like laughing; when was the last time she had cried? Nobody had ever managed to reduce her to tears like this. That made Potter the first, which made him dangerous, but it didn't matter because nothing did.

She smiled through her tears and wondered if she had gone mad.

"Tell me," Alice ordered. Concern roughened her voice.

So Lily told her, narrating everything down to the last detail. Like how Rabastan had congratulated them on what they had done it, Sirius asking for a dance only to tell her why Bellatrix had wanted her to wear the pendant.

How could she love her sister so much and know she had done such terrible things? Didn't that make her just as bad?

The words spilled out of her until she had exhausted them. Through it all Alice simply rocked her and listened.

Finally the words dried out. "I'm hungry," Lily said plaintively. "Coming for breakfast?"

"You go down. I'll be there in a jiffy," Alice said absently.

She nodded and walked out of the dorm. Meanwhile the blonde gazed thoughtfully after her.

Alice had always known that one day, Lily would snap. Nobody could keep their emotions bottled up for so long and still be human. That time had come for her best friend and she knew that Lily, walking the thin line between sanity and hysteria, was dangerously close to setting the world on fire just to watch it burn.

It was her job to make sure nothing happened that Lily would later regret.

~#~#~

Three weeks.

For three weeks she had managed to avoid Potter. It was now late December. (On a side note, Gryffindor had managed to comprehensively trounce Hufflepuff). Once Lily's reason had returned she had realised that, while she was far gone enough to want revenge, she wasn't about to stoop to his level. That made her no better than him.

And she _was _better than him, in every way possible.

So she'd been avoiding him. Her mind turned over possibilities with all the cold precision of a machine. In the meantime, certain she wouldn't be able to stop herself from simply hexing him if she saw him, she did her best to ensure her eyes never caught sight of him.

Sirius was a different matter. For one, he was family, and she knew that if she really wanted him punished all she had to do was tell Bellatrix. She was closer to her oldest sister than Narcissa. She also knew how his mind worked. Remorse wasn't something that came easily to a Black, but in Potter's eyes that night in the common room she had glimpsed something that veered very, very close.

Or maybe it was just an overactive imagination. She hoped it wasn't. Remorse meant a person knew their actions were wrong. That greatly widened the scope of her vengeance.

Sirius was also her Potions partner, and that was the reason why Lily was currently striding down a dark, dank corridor at eight p.m. on her way to the dungeon classroom. Their projects were going to be marked the next day. She was on her way to administer a sprig of holly to enhance their Revitalising Solution.

While she walked, Lily ruminated on the odd double standards of her brain that meant she could still interact passably well with Sirius but couldn't see James Potter without wanting to slit his throat. It was a reaction she couldn't control. Maybe the long, thin scar that wrapped itself jaggedly around her forearm was a factor.

"Goddammit Sirius, I said no!"

She stopped dead and held her breath. Was that who she thought it was?

Another familiar voice rapped out an answer. The voices were getting louder; they sounded like the owners were just around the next bend. She slipped out her wand.  
The Disillusionment Charm blended her flaming hair into the stone wall, and the deep shadows broken by sporadic torches provided sufficient coverage. It was no Invisibility Cloak, but it would do.

She pressed closer to the wall and listened.

"Snape's got it wrong," Potter's voice insisted. "_He _won't just let us go, we were in it for life the moment he branded us in third year. You heard what Rookwood said. He knows our bloody thoughts - "

"Rookwood was bluffing," Sirius cut in. The two boys rounded the corner, and Lily stopped breathing and closed her eyes as she tried not to let them know she was there.

"If anyone can do Legilimency, it's him. Bellatrix Black is the only Occlumens I know. I'm out of this, Sirius."

Sirius spoke quietly. "James. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you what happens to traitors. Going to join the Order now, are you? Beg Dumbledore for a third chance after you so spectacularly messed up your first one four years ago?"

_Four years ago._ The words rang through Lily's head. To her, four years ago meant only one thing, and she wondered what That Night had to do with everything. A second chance? What had happened to the first one? What was an Occlumens, and what did her sister have to do with it?

Potter and Sirius vanished around another bend. Mechanically Lily carried on her original journey. Her mind was spinning with questions. What was it that Potter wanted an out of? What branding, and what Order?

God, there was so much she didn't know! As she dropped the prickly green leaves into the cauldron she vowed to go the one place she went to whenever there was something she didn't know: the Library.

What was it that Potter had kept saying no to?

**AN: The Betrayal of Lucius Malfoy**

**Heaven hath no rage like a love to hatred turned. Proud, vengeful, manipulative and beautiful; Narcissa Black will do anything to see Lucius Malfoy suffer as she once did. Even sell Death Eater secrets to the Order of the Phoenix. Yet in a place where allies are enemies and friends are foes, the man she risks her life to betray may be her only hope of salvation...**

**The Taming of Bellatrix Black**

**Wild and unstoppable, ruthless and charming. Bellatrix Black is a princess of the Slytherin world of backstabbing, murder, revenge and intrigue she grew up in. She's never had anyone who dared go against her. Until Rodolphus Lestrange, who's after both her crown - and her. Has this fickle pureblooded royal finally met her match?**

**I don't really like the summary for the Bellatrix story, so it may be subject to change, but what it means will remain the same. So what do you guys think? **


	12. Eleven: At the Library

**AN: Sorry this is a short filler, but I wanted to give you guys something. Thank you to everyone who took a look at my Bellatrix story! Next is the Narcissa prologue, which I'm really excited for :) And to my guest reviewers, if you would like a reply please make an account, but know that I'm always grateful for your reviews.**

**Happy Easter! xx**

**Chapter Eleven: At the Library**

As soon as classes had finished, Lily rushed to the Library. It had been the last day before the Christmas holidays had started and as such everyone was too busy celebrating to be in the Library, of all places.

She promised Alice that she wouldn't be long and slipped into the Restricted Section. Lily was fully conscious of Madam Pince's suspicious gaze, but straightened her back and perused the shelves.

_Legilimency... Occlumens.. _Potter had said that Bellatrix was the only Occlumens he knew...

She crouched lower to search the O section. Of course, there was the possibility that whatever they were talking about was Dark stuff and therefore not here, but often there were things in the Restricted Section that veered dangerously close to that line. She carried on looking.

_Oberon: A Biography_, by Linda Scott. _The Negative Side-Effects of Obliviating Muggles, _Demoiselle Range. No doubt a Muggleborn. _A Beginner's Explanation of Occlumency _ - yes! She curled her fingers over the top of the narrow leather-clad spine and pulled it out.

The title was embossed on the front in faded gold letters, set deep into the smooth black leather. Reverently Lily cracked it open to the first page. She always felt something almost... holy as she opened a book for the first time, a sense of an opening chasm beneath her feet, and this time was no different as she read the introduction.

_Occlumency is an obscure art, difficult to master with any degree of accuracy. As always it depends on the power of the countering Legilimens._

Lily felt a sudden burst of pride. Like Potter had said, if her sister Bellatrix was the only Occlumens he knew among their circles of old, wealthy bloodlines, that must be a great accomplishment indeed. She smiled to herself and carried on.

_First to understand Occlumency, a basic knowledge of Legilimency is required. A Legilimens is a person able to delve inside the cognitive functions of another individual at will and comprehend the jumble found there. Thoughts are not clear-cut; they are a mixture of impressions, memories and senses. Only a Legilimens capable of discovering their goal within this tangle can do anything at all with this ability._

"So basically, it's mind-reading," she murmured to herself.

There was a rustle behind her and she jerked, remembering where she was and berating herself for her momentary slip. Heavy breathing sounded from the other side of a shelf.

Lily gripped her wand. "Who's there?"

A body appeared. She drew in a breath, then relaxed when she saw who it was.

"Oh," she sneered, "it's you."

Remus Lupin twisted his hands nervously around. "Look, Lily, I know you aren't exactly happy to see me right now - "

"Understatement of the century," she said. "I think I'd be more than just unhappy at seeing the world's biggest coward."

He actually had the gall to look hurt. "Do you really think I could do anything to change James or Sirius' minds once they're made up?"

No, she didn't, but that didn't make it okay. "You're their best friend. You had a hell of a chance more than most people at stopping them."

Lupin stared past her, his eyes slightly glassy. "James and Sirius do what they want. Just like they've always done, and the rest of the world can go to hell."

Was that bitterness she could see in his face? Something wasn't right, and despite herself Lily began to feel the stirrings of pity. "What's wrong? I mean, why did you seek me out?"

"Oh, yes. That. He won't be happy if he finds out, but I thought I at least owed it to you to warn you. After the holidays - "

Suddenly he stopped and tilted his head to the side, as though listening to something inaudible to her. She frowned.

"Lupin? What is it?"

"I have to go," he said in a rush.

"No, wait!"

But he had already gone, slithering out of sight so fast she wondered if he had an Invisibility Cloak with him. What had he wanted to warn her about, anyway?

Lily shrugged and picked up the Occlumency book to borrow. While she waited for Madam Pince to stamp it with the return date, her eyes turned to the doorway.

James Potter and Sirius Black walked through, deep in conversation.

Her breath caught. She hurriedly looked back at the librarian, but felt more than heard the talking stop as both boys saw her and stopped dead. When she walked out she was careful not to brush past them. The whole time her heart beat frantically, although she fought to keep her expression neutral. If they found out she had heard them last night...

Lily got outside without incident and sighed with relief. Now she could devote her attention to the warning Lupin had given her - or tried to, in any case. She unconsciously rubbed the chain of the Black pendant she had yet to take off. What 'he' had Lupin been talking about? Why had he gone?

Something occurred to her. Was it possible that somehow, he had heard Potter and Sirius approaching, even though they had to have been a good fifty feet away at the time? What did that mean?

There were more secrets and lies wrapped up in this web than she ever could have guessed, and she risked drowning in it all if she solved every mystery that came her way. Lily decided to first discover what Occlumency and Legilimency was before anything else. Which reminded her, she needed to make sure nobody found out to avoid awkward questions -

Lily glanced down and froze in horror. She had been so busy schooling her features into an iron mask that she had forgotten about the book. The way she carried it meant that the title was visible for all to read. The way they had been watching her, she knew without a doubt that her cousin and Potter knew what she had been researching. From there it wasn't a big jump to assume she had been listening in the night before.

She had just lost the element of surprise, and Lily felt bone-weariness creeping up on her. Why did nothing ever seem to go her way?

~#~#~

"Right, listen up, Gryffindors!"

The occupants of the Gryffindor common room snapped to their feet as their Head of House clambered ungracefully through the portrait hole. McGonagall straightened up.

"I am here to take the names of those of you staying at Hogwarts over Christmas. Make an orderly line if you are, please!"

Lily started to walk over but Alice caught her arm.

"I forgot to ask," she said, "but do you want to come round mine for the hols?"

The redhead hesitated. "I don't know, Alice... Your parents won't mind, will they?"

"Course not," Alice assured her. "They love you. Everyone does, come to think of it."

The mocking laugh that erupted out of Lily shocked even her. "If that was true, how come my parents can't look me in the eye? How come my sister Andromeda's been gone for three months and never bothered to write to me? She knows I wouldn't sell her out! How come my cousin hates me and the only one I'm not worried about is my oldest sister?"

Alice waited for a moment and then said quietly, "You said her name."

"Huh?" Lily blinked. Now her rant was over, she felt vaguely foolish.

"Andromeda," Alice explained. "You said her name. Your parents disowned her and you've been told never to acknowledge her again. You tried, but I guess you must love her so much that you just couldn't keep it in. And because you love her so much you're hurt she hasn't contacted you."

There was a pause as Lily digested this information. Finally she said wryly, "When did you get so smart?"

"About the same time you got so thick," Alice grinned. "But seriously, think how Andromeda must feel. She's been cut off by her family and she doesn't know who she can trust."

"So I have to make the first move," Lily realised. She leaned over and hugged her best friend tightly. "God, thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"So does this mean you're coming over for Christmas?"

"Might as well," she said. "Guess it couldn't hurt."

Alice beamed. "Yay! I'll go owl my parents and tell them to prep for an extra guest." She bounded up.

Lily watched her go, a faint smile lifting the corners of her lips. She was luckier than she knew to have a friend like that.


	13. Twelve: Reverse Discrimination

**AN: Quick update! Also, guys, I've updated the Bellatrix story. Please do look at both it and the Narcissa story! I'd really like reviews, most especially on the Narcissa one, which I've made kind of dark. **

**This chapter's mostly about some self-discovery, so no James, sadly. I hope you still enjoy :) As always, read and review!**

**Chapter Twelve: Reverse Discrimination**

"The pies," Lily said. "Definitely the pies."

"Mum's mince pies are pretty wicked," Alice agreed, "but they're nowhere near as good as Gran's turkey!"

Lily licked her lips. "Did you have to remind me?"

The two girls were standing outside Kings' Cross Station, waiting for Alice's father to pick them up. Somehow their conversation had degenerated into a giggly argument about the highlights of Christmas food. Something warm and carefree was bubbling inside Lily, and she realised that it was happiness. No Potter, no Sirius, nothing to worry about for two whole weeks.

The McKinnons' battered Ford Fiesta rolled up. "He's here!" Alice exclaimed. Lily started forward with her.

"Hey, Patrick!

She smiled dazzlingly at him. She had always considered Patrick and Janet, Alice's parents, to be a second mother and father to her. She'd known them since her nappy days. Alice hugged her father first then Lily moved to shake his hand.

She didn't expect the sudden tightening of his jaw as he took her and her outstretched arm in. He made no move to greet her.

She frowned. "Something wrong, Patrick?"

Ignoring her completely, he turned to his daughter. "I thought I told you that bitch wasn't setting foot in our house?"

Lily gasped, taking a step backward. Surely - surely he hadn't just said what she thought he'd said?

Alice threw Lily a glance then turned pleading eyes to her father. "Dad, I explained it to you. Lily isn't like the others. She's not even in Slytherin, for crying out loud - "

"Lies!" he snarled. "You're so blinded by loyalty, you don't see the revulsion I do when she looks at you!"

"Hey!" said Lily, stung into speaking. "What repulsion? She's my best friend! What's wrong with you, Patrick?"

Once again he ignored her. "I hate to see this happening, Alice. Best we turn her away now before she poisons you any further."

"_Dad_!" Alice roared. "That is enough! We can't turn Lily away."

He eyed her, then he said flatly, "Your mother won't be happy." But he turned away to open the boot.

Lily wondered if she was in shock. Faint tears prickled her eyes, wide and horrified. What had happened that could cause the man she loved like a father to turn against her like that?

"Alice," she murmured. "What... what happened?"

Alice shot her a brief apologetic look. "I'll explain later," she said softly. "I'm sorry about this. I didn't think it was that bad."

"You don't have to be sorry for anything," Lily told her. Resentment flared inside her, although she tried to stamp it down. Patrick had known her for so long. Did he really think of her as a bitch not worthy of setting foot in his home? Why?

But deep inside, she already knew the answer.

~#~#~

The ride home had been tense, awkwardly silent.

Lily looked out of the window at whatever was illuminated by the sporadic streetlights. She was aware of Alice's eyes on her, but tried to avoid looking at her, not really sure why. When they pulled up outside Alice's house she was the first person out of the car.

Patrick unlocked the boot and handed her her trunk without looking at her. Before he would have carried it in for her. She stood on the doorstep and rang the bell, suddenly detachedly eager to see whatever look of hatred Janet would throw at her.

The door opened a few moments later.

Lily heard the indrawn little breath and smiled grimly at Janet, trying to make it as wide and fake as possible.

"Hello, Janet," she said. "Mind letting me in? It's cold out here."

Although she had expected it it still hurt when Janet seemed to deliberate on it for a few seconds before standing aside. Lily lumbered inside with the trunk in her arms.

"Dinner's on the table," Janet said quietly when Alice and Patrick had entered too. The four of them filed into the dining room. Lily stopped, hovering, when she saw that only three places had been set.

Silently Janet placed a plate in front of her. Dinner was eaten quickly and quietly, after which Patrick stood up and pushed in his chair.

"Go to bed now. No talking."

Lily followed Alice upstairs. This sudden change in manner was such a big difference to how they treated her before, making it a little hard to sink in. Neither Alice nor her said a word as they brushed their teeth and changed into their pyjamas.

When Alice slid under the covers Lily didn't do the same. "I want answers."

Alice sighed wearily. "I know you do. It's just... it's a little hard to stomach that my own parents are capable of being as biased as everyone else."

Lily placed a hand gently on her friend's forehead. "What do you mean?"

"I mean it's reverse discrimination. My parents have always known what family you come from, it's just that it's never featured largely in their lives for. Then they read the newspaper article about Rookwood." Her voice sounded old and tired. "Believe it or not, a lot of people have realised who Rookwood's accomplices were. They know a Black was involved. Or if not that, your sister Bellatrix is gaining notoriety as one of the most ruthless of the Dark Lord's followers. Lucius Malfoy is making a name for himself too. Whichever way you look at it, the Blacks are deeply involved with the enemy, and that's a fact my parents have just woken up to."

"Oh," Lily said throatily. She stared down at her pale, almost translucent hand, fingers splayed on Alice's forehead. Blue veins wrapped around her wrist. So many things came down to blood, didn't it? She hadn't chosen to be born with Black blood, chosen to come from a family infamous throughout the wizarding world.

And yet she had.

Alice went on, "My mother is a half-blood. My dad was a Muggleborn. They know what weak lineage we have, and they're scared of it."

"They don't need to be scared," Lily said fiercely. "I won't hurt you."

She smiled faintly. "They aren't scared of _you _hurting me, Lily. You may be a Black but in their hearts they know they have nothing to fear from you. No, what they're really afraid of is the fact that the Dark Lord is rising, and when he reaches the top, there will be no hope for us anywhere."

Lily bit her lip. She had grown up hearing the name of the Dark Lord on her family's lips, knew what he stood for and what he wanted. But he had never seemed to be quite _real _to her. Nothing he had done had ever affected her.

Now, looking at the anxiety that Alice strove to conceal, Lily realised how narrow-minded and self-centred she had been. What were Potter and Sirius, compared to this? She never had to fear for her life when with them. She had always been secure in the knowledge that either her sisters or her blood would protect her.

But not everybody was as lucky, and she was sickened to think of how complacent she had been. _Not anymore_.

"No, Alice," she said. Her voice was made harsh by a mixture of self-loathing and anger. "That isn't right. You shouldn't have to live like that, constantly looking over your shoulder."

Alice shrugged. "There's nothing either of us can do. Why worry?"

"You're wrong," she said. "I'm a Black. I should be able to use that to protect you, dammit! At least then it will have done some good!"

She started pacing while Alice watched her with tired eyes.

"Come to bed, Lily," she said exhaustedly. "That's enough for tonight."

Lily acknowledged what she had said and climbed into the double bed beside her.

Her fingers twisted at her pendant, but she couldn't bring herself to make her choice and take it off just yet.


	14. Thirteen: Head Duty

**AN: Dedicated to the super-sweet Little Emily :) What are you guys' favourite LJ stories? xx**

**Chapter Thirteen: Head Duty**

_Crack!_

The Knight Bus materialised out of nowhere. Lily glanced back, waving one last time at Alice who had her nose pressed against the window, then levitated her trunk onto the bus ahead of her.

"Where to?" Jim asked affably.

Lily hesitated, assuring herself it was the only option, then muttered, "Grimmauld Place."

"Coming up!" he said. The bus leapt forward.

Weaving drunkenly, Lily managed to make her way over to a bed and collapse on it. It was Christmas Eve and she had finally had enough of the uncomfortable silence that pervaded Alice's house. She knew her best friend's parents resented her and that hurt like hell, considering she had known them all her life, but she also felt guilty for so obviously ruining their Christmas.

So despite Alice's begging she had packed up her trunk and made her way to the Black ancestral home: Number 13 Grimmauld Place.

Naturally, the hidden home in a rundown part of southeast London was not the _real _Black ancestral home. That honour belonged to a sprawling mansion in the countryside. But Grimmauld Place was where the family congregated during the school year, so it was there that Lily would have to go.

Sirius would be there, as would his brother Regulus. Now Narcissa was married she would be at Malfoy Manor, making Lily the only Black sister at the house. Probably James Potter would be there.

The scar on her arm tingled, and she sat staring into space thinking of all the things she could have done if she wasn't so painfully afraid of being as bad as he was.

Her mind whispered, _you could be worse_. And a part of her wanted to be.

~#~#~

The expression on Sirius' face was almost comical as he opened the door and stared at his cousin standing outside it.

"Lily? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, that's nice," she snipped. "Have you forgotten that I happen to _live _here?"

"But I thought you were at that half-blood's house," he said, blocking the entrance with his body.

She physically pushed past him. "Well, I'm not anymore."

Suddenly he laughed. "Oh my God," he chortled, "they kicked you out, didn't they? For being a Black?"

She flushed, having forgotten that he was more perceptive than he looked. "For your information, I chose to leave," she told him.

He waved her away, still laughing.

"Delilah?"

"Hello, Aunt Walburga," Lily said stiffly. Sirius' mother had never forgiven her for being in Gryffindor, and it showed in the curl of the older woman's lip as she looked her niece up and down.

"I see you've come crawling back."

"Needed a change of scenery," Lily shrugged. "Now if you'll excuse me..."

She skirted past her aunt, charming her trunk so it floated up the stairs in front of her. She was not expecting to meet James Potter on the landing.

"L - Black?"

He stared at her and she rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

"I live here, can nobody seem to grasp the concept?"

"Well, you aren't usually home much," he said. She beamed inwardly. Was that - yes! His voice was actually _wary_! Of her! And for a good cause, as she would prove the moment she got round to thinking of a plan.

"You're one to talk. It's like you've become a permanent fixture in _my _house," she sneered. "Do your parents not realise that their only son spends more time at his friend's house than his own?"

"Just the one parent actually. My mum's dead," he said frostily.

"Oh," she muttered. Although it came out sounding indifferent, she felt the tiniest stab of guilt. At least she still had a mother, even if the love from her was questionable. And she had her sisters. Potter had nobody.

Well, he had Sirius, who was as good as a brother. Fortifying herself once more Lily brushed past him without a word. Once she was in her room, she stopped. Something he had said had just sunk in.

Had Potter been about to call her _Lily_?

~#~#~

Dinner in Grimmauld Place was only marginally less awkward than it had been at the McKinnons' house.

Lily stabbed at a piece of salmon Kreacher had placed in front of her, resigning herself to another week of this before she could return to Hogwarts. It turned out her parents had gone to the Black mansion for the holidays to visit her grandparents, leaving Lily stuck with Aunt Walburga, Uncle Orion (who was usually drunk out of his mind), Regulus, Sirius and of course James Potter.

At least Regulus was there, or she might have gone mad. Lily grinned at her younger cousin and he grinned back. Somehow, although Black cheeks were meant to be too hollow, he had managed to acquire dimples.

"You know, Mum," Sirius said suddenly, "James here is very well liked by Dumbledore."

"For no apparent reason," Lily mumbled.

Walburga shot her a glare then turned to her son. "That's nice, but I was already aware of that."

"Yeah," Sirius said. For some reason, he glanced sidelong at Lily, his grey eyes gleaming with mischievousness. "Because, he's going to be the first person in the history of Hogwarts to be both Quidditch Captain... and Head Boy."

Everything froze.

Lily stopped breathing, then she got out of her chair and lunged at Sirius across the table. "What the fuck are you talking about?" she hissed. "That's - that's impossible!"

"Oh, no," Sirius said, looking unfazed. "It's perfectly possible. Do you mind letting go of my collar?"

Lily released him and sank back in her chair. "But Remus Lupin is Head Boy," she said. "You can't switch in the middle of the year!"

"He went and told Dumbledore he couldn't do it anymore because it was too much pressure, what with his _furry little problem _and all," Sirius said. His eyes flicked to Potter's for a split second. "And, well, it seems Jamie-boy here is the second option."

"Excuse me for a second," Lily said. Her voice betrayed nothing of her inner turmoil. Calmly, she stood up and strode from the room, ascending the stairs and throwing herself onto her bed. She stared at the ceiling.

It couldn't be possible. Dumbledore would never do such a thing. Yet... hadn't Lupin always disappeared once a month and then return looking like death warmed over? Was that the 'furry little problem' Sirius had been referring to?

It was so close! Her brain puzzled over all the pieces she had been given, turning them over in her mind. She knew what was wrong with him. She just had to think. God, if only she could get her brain to work for one bloody second...

There was a knock at the door. If anybody in the house would be coming after her, it was Regulus. "Come in," she called.

The creak of hinges preceded the sight of James Potter's messy black head poking around the doorway.

"Um, hey," he said hesitantly.

Open-mouthed, Lily stared at him, unable to believe that he could simply walk in here and pretend like he actually cared about her.

"Cut the bullshit, Potter," she said sharply. "What do you want?"

He didn't quite meet her gaze. "I, um, just wanted to say that I... I didn't ask to be Head Boy, or anything. Trust me. I didn't know and backing out wasn't an option."

She frowned, irritated with the part of her that was inexplicably annoyed by what he had said. It sounded more like an insult than anything. He didn't want to work with her?

"It's not because of you or anything," he hastened to assure her.

Lily sighed. Suddenly she was tired of dealing with him and all the drama associated. Which reminded her - wasn't he going to say anything about her overhearing them? Well, if he'd forgotten, she wasn't going to remind him.

"Just get the fuck out of my room, Potter. I honestly don't care about you enough to be listening to your excuses."

He still stood there. "We'll have to discuss our joint Head duties - "

"I said, _get the fuck out of my room_!" Lily snarled, raising herself off the bed on her elbows. At that, he cast her one last cautious look and finally slid out.

Her breath whooshed out of her body in one long exhale. Working with James Potter of all people. Life really couldn't get any worse, could it?


	15. Fourteen: Revelations at Costa

**AN: For poor ill Hermitt. Get well soon! :)**

**Also, I have a sneaking suspicion I haven't replied to some reviews. I have a horrible memory so if this is you, please forgive me!**

**Chapter Fourteen: Revelations at Costa**

Regulus Black was the only cousin Lily actually liked, and that was because he had been thisclose from being Sorted into Gryffindor.

It was a secret only the two of them knew, for Regulus was too terrified to tell his purist parents and older brother that he had almost been placed into Slytherin's worst enemy. In fact, the only reason he wasn't in Gryffindor was because he had asked not to put there, much the same way Lily had asked not to be put in Slytherin.

He might have been a coward but he was still the only person currently residing in Grimmauld Place that she could stand.

"Do you think I'll lose a mark in my mock Potions OWL because I said dittany had mermaid scales instead of merman scales?" Regulus was worrying.

Lily smiled benevolently. "Don't worry, Reggie. You're a whiz at Potions."

She was sprawled out on his bed while he sat at his desk fretting over his mock OWLs. For once, she was feeling content. Kreacher had served a particularly good lunch, Uncle Orion had drunk himself into a stupor, Aunt Walburga was knitting in the living room and Sirius and Potter were out doing God knew what. The house was calm and silent.

Until the silent was shattered abruptly by a screech. "DELILAH! REGULUS! COME DOWN IMMEDIATELY!"

Lily gasped and rolled off the bed. Regulus leapt for her.

"Oh my God! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she choked, waving him away when he tried to help her up. Torturously she got to her feet.

"I said come down!" Walburga snapped again.

"Coming!" Lily hollered back dutifully. The two of them made their way down the stairs, the redhead hissing curses when she put too much pressure on her right ankle. When they reached the living room they found Walburga sitting imperiously on the horsehair sofa. She pointed a knitting needle at them like a sword.

"Took you long enough," she sniffed.

"What is it, _Auntie_?" Lily asked. There was the barest hint of sarcasm on the last word. Beside her Regulus shifted uncomfortably.

"I want you to go call the boys back in," Walburga ordered. "I've just received some important news and they need to hear it."

"What important news?" Regulus asked.

His mother rounded on him. "You'll find out in good time, young man. For now go find that wretched house-elf and tell him to prepare a specialty for supper. We're going to be having company." She dismissed them by returning to knitting what looked like a woollen cloak.

Lily rolled her eyes and gingerly went upstairs again, clutching onto the banister. If she was going to be going outside she needed proper Muggle clothes, not the casual green robes she was wearing now. Never mind the fact that she had no idea where the boys might be.

Her wardrobe was modestly stocked with Muggle clothes her parents had bought for her to wear when necessary. Naturally, since they were Blacks, everything in it was designer, although the Muggle brands meant little to Lily as she pulled out a pair of jeans and blue blouse. Over it went a dark jacket. She pulled on calf-high leather boots, then unlocked the front door with a tap of her wand and stepped out.

Unfortunately it hadn't snowed this Christmas. But it was New Year's Eve, and Lily gazed with interest at the harried-looking Muggles carrying bags who rushed past. She stuck her hands into her jacket pockets and surveyed her surroundings.

There were really only a couple of places Potter and Sirius could be, since Grimmauld Place was not in the most auspicious of locations. Lily glared at a beer can-carrying teenager who smirked at her as he wandered past. It wasn't as if any of these Muggles could _hurt _her, but still...

She decided to try the local shopping centre first. The Diamond Mall was at odds with its name, being grimy and populated by nothing better than a Marks & Spencer, but it was warm and served nourishment. The blast of warm air as she entered through the automatic doors made her cheeks flush.

It was bustling with activity. Lily searched the crowd for two boys, one with a mop of black hair and the other's head sleek and dark. Nothing. She groaned in frustration. Couldn't they even have had the decency to tell someone where they had gone?

She shouldered her way through the mass of people to Costa, desperate for a hot chocolate. Her Muggle wallet - the one filled with pound notes instead of Galleons - was a comforting weight in her pocket.

"One medium hot chocolate," Lily said to the cashier.

He slid one over to her. She cupped it with her hands, allowing the warmth to soak through, carrying it over to an empty table and sitting down. The heat was soothing against her cold palms.

Then she saw him.

James Potter was sitting at another table, talking to some Muggle girl with curly blonde hair. Lily blinked at the jealousy that suddenly coiled within her. Why did _she _care who he talked to all of a sudden?

"You've gone green."

She jumped and turned her head. She had been so focussed on them that she hadn't noticed Sirius slip in beside her, regarding her with knowing eyes. Her cheeks crimsoned and to cover that she scoffed.

"You think I'm jealous?"

"Oh, nearly everyone's jealous," Sirius said airily. "You, the cashier, the boy behind you, that woman with the briefcase. You're all jealous. But you in particular - you're jealous of his looks and how popular he is, and how he's smart without trying."

"You're wrong," she insisted. "I hate him for what he did to me."

It was a mark of how unique Lily and Sirius' relationship was that they could sit here like this and discuss it.

"That's what you've led yourself to believe," he said. His voice was uncharacteristically soft, for once lacking its usual twist of mockery. "You've convinced yourself you hate him, because that's easier for you to deal with than being jealous of him."

"My grades are as good as his, if not better," Lily pointed out.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "And how long do you spend doing an essay? A week, and that's without all the research you put in beforehand. I've seen James roll out an O-graded essay in ten minutes."

Her knuckles whitened. "So he's some kind of genius. Good for him."

"And," Sirius continued relentlessly, "he's _liked_. Even without us Marauders, he's never short of girls or people to hang out with. You have the half-blood, the Mudblood and the Longbottom boy. That's it."

Lily crumpled the plastic lid in her hands viciously. She hated to admit it, but what Sirius was saying had struck a chord; why did Potter, being in Slytherin and steeped in the Dark Arts, command so much of Hogwarts when _she _might as well be a part of the wallpaper?

"What's your fucking point?" she said tightly.

Sirius sighed. "Just... it may seem like he's got everything, but appearances are deceiving."

"Whatever," Lily muttered."Why are you telling me all this anyway?"

He tilted his head. "Because I want to. Because I can."

And that, as Lily knew, was the best reason he could have for doing something; generations of Blacks had lived and died, killed and spared, loved and hated - all because they could.

_Because I can _explained everything and nothing. Nobody knew why Sirius, as mercurial as his cousin Bellatrix, did the things he did so Lily accepted it without question when he abruptly changed the subject.

"What are you doing here?"

"Aunt Walburga sent me to find you. She has some kind of announcement for us," she said. "She wants us home."

He nodded and rose. "I'll get James."

The short walk home was done in silence. Lily trailed slightly behind the other two, focussing on the back of Potter's head. _Was _she jealous of him? She didn't like to think so, but there was a part of her that she knew felt envious at how everything seemed to come so easily to him. Even now, nearly seven years later, many of her own House still treated her differently for her Slytherin heritage.

Lily shook off such thoughts when they entered the house.

"We're home, Mum!" Sirius yelled.

"Come into the living room!" she called.

The three of them found Regulus already standing there with his hands behind his back. Walburga took in their Muggle attire and wrinkled her nose, but said nothing.

"I want you all to be on your best behaviour tonight," she said. "We're to have guests."

"Who?" Sirius asked.

"Homber Shacklebolt, Personal Assistant to the Minister... and Charlus Potter."

Instinctively Lily turned her head to Potter. She was surprised by what she saw. All the blood had drained out of his face, leaving it chalky pale, for all the world as though she had received some terrible news. She knitted her brows together.

His father was visiting. Surely that was good news?

Not if his face was anything to go by, and she began to feel a certain interest in what the night's dinner would bring.


	16. Fifteen: Like Father, Like Son

**AN: Sorry this is late, but my dad's moving to America so we've been quite busy. Please do take a look at my narcissa story! And now...**

**Chapter Fifteen: Like Father, Like Son**

Charlus Potter looked like what Lily had always imagined a vampire to look like: tall, dark-haired, bone-pale and intense.

His son was the spitting image of him except James had hazel eyes instead of his father's icy blue. And though Lily hated to admit it, Charlus exuded a cloud of malevolence that was ten times worse than the dangerous air James gave off. Every time the man turned his burning gaze on her she struggled not to cower.

In contrast, Homber Shacklebolt was a small, mouse-faced man who twitched alarmingly regularly. Sirius sniggered every time Shacklebolt jumped at the smallest sound. Lily only felt sorry for him.

All eight of them were currently sitting around the dinner table. Kreacher had set bowls of prawn soup in front of them for the starter. There was no conversation. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily found herself shooting James glances. He was uncharacteristically silent, head bowed. She wondered at it.

Suddenly there was a scraping sound. Charlus Potter had pushed his bowl away, slowly and deliberately, and fixed his uncannily blue eyes on Walburga. She squirmed.

"Walburga," he said. "I must thank you for the _stunning _taste of this soup." His words were slow and measured.

"Oh, it was nothing," she fluttered.

As if she'd done anything. The adoring house-elf had done all the work.

"Where are Cygnus and Druella?" he asked. "I'd have liked to catch up with them."

"They're visiting our parents in the House of Black," she said. "Though if they had known you'd be arriving, I'm sure they'd be here."

Charlus said nothing in response, and the table relapsed into an uncomfortable silence.

Lily slurped the last of her soup from her spoon. The hairs on the back of her neck seemed to be prickling, as if aware that she was in the presence of someone not to be trusted. That was true enough. All she knew of James' father was that he occupied an influential position in the Ministry and was a highly favoured servant of the Dark Lord. The few times they had met before no words had been exchanged.

That changed as he spoke to her.

"Delilah?"

Her head snapped up. "Yes, sir?" She had tacked on the sir quickly, knowing her father liked to be addressed as such.

"You are Cygnus' daughter, are you not?"

"Yes, sir," Lily said cautiously.

"My son has told me about you," Charlus said. "The only Black in Gryffindor."

She frowned, uncertain how to respond to this. James had spoken about her?

"Of course, since my son has a natural tendency to lie," he continued, "I had to check for myself. Between you and me," he leaned forward with a confiding air, "James is unfortunately much more like his mother than me."

Lily felt anger come over her and was surprised to realise that it was for James. What kind of father spoke like that about his son? Before she could say something, Sirius beat her to it.

"That's a shame," he said icily. "Especially seeing as how his mother is our great-aunt Dorea."

"That's enough," Walburga said sharply. Lily looked at her, and saw that although her cheeks were red she was obviously too much in awe of her esteemed guest to mention that he had just insulted one of his host's relatives. A dead one, as well. James seemed to be biting his tongue and was staring determinedly in front of him.

"So!" said Shacklebolt with fake cheer. "Looking forward to going back to Hogwarts, kids?"

"Well, at least it means we don't have to put up with people like you," Sirius said coolly.

"Sirius!" Walburga shrieked. "You'll have to excuse my son, Mr Shacklebolt," she said to him. "He's always had a problem with staying out of trouble."

"So has my son," Charlus interjected. "I gave him a little job to do a few weeks ago, and he completely messed up. If it wasn't for Rookwood's quick thinking - "

Lily sucked in a breath. Was he talking about the Rookwood killings? She shifted on her chair. Annoyingly, Charlus appeared to have decided not to finish his sentence. She felt like killing him. Potter had messed it up? What did that mean?

"Kreacher, bring the main course," Walburga ordered. The house-elf Vanished the soup bowls with a snap of his fingers and plates of smoked salmon appeared. There was a clink of glasses.

Charlus had apparently decided to try and attempt to converse with Lily again.

"Is it true that the Gryffindor common room is behind a portrait?" he asked with a charming smile. "I've always wondered, you see."

"Um. Yes, it is," she answered.

"I hear you're Head Girl," he said. "James here has been chosen as Head Boy as well. He was _second choice_." The last two words were sneered.

"He's Quidditch Captain too," Sirius snarled, his voice was trembling with rage.

"Sirius Black! Go to your room this instant!" Walburga bellowed.

He stood up, knocking his chair back sullenly and sloping out. Lily twisted the edge of the tablecloth in her hands. She would have done the same for Alice or Arabella, and yet... couldn't James say a single word for himself instead of relying on Sirius all the time?

"_Crucio_."

Her body flinched at the word and she jumped to her feet, drawing her wand. But the spell had not been directed at her. Instead, she watched in horrified fascination as James' body twitched and kicked uncontrollably. His eyes bulged out of his head but he could make no sound.

Lily shot her aunt a look and saw that, while Walburga looked distinctly discomfited, she would be doing nothing. Orion had disappeared into the kitchen. No doubt for a drink of some sort. Shacklebolt was eating furiously and paying attention to nothing outside his plate. They were sitting there as though it was perfectly normal, a man using an Unforgivable Curse on his son at the dinner table, and Lily felt hysterical laughter bubble up in her throat.

There was a sudden enraged roar. Sirius burst back into the room, his wand help aloft, face a mask of twisted rage.

"_Stupe - "_

"_Expelliarmus_!"

His wand flew out of his hand and she caught it with her free one. Sirius' mouth dropped open as he changed course to barrel straight at her.

"What the fuck did you do that for?"

"Wait," she said with eerie calm. Her mind had seen the perfect opportunity, and she counted the seconds passing mentally.

_Fourteen seconds... fifteen seconds..._

Sirius launched himself at her. She sidestepped easily. When she hit the twenty-second mark, she aimed her wand.

"_Stupefy_!"

Charlus Potter dropped like a stone.

Instantly Sirius rushed to James' side. He hunched moaning and shuddering on his chair, but after a few seconds he raised his head to look at her. A hanging lock of hair obscured one eye, but the other pierced straight through her. They stared at each other, brown on green, for what felt like an eternity.

Then Sirius broke it.

"What the hell was that, Lily?"

"Twenty seconds," she said. She was answering his question, but her words were directed to James. "I kept count, you know. And I repaid you in full. I figured it was owed to me."

There was a pause, then he jerked his head in a nod. "I can accept that."

"Good," she said. She looked at her aunt, who appeared to be in shock, and Shacklebolt who was still eating.

"Someone should probably do something to him," she said about the Stupefied man on the floor. Nobody stopped her as she walked out of the dining room and took the stairs two at a time. Her mind was frozen; calm, cold and clear. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling.

She had finally had her revenge against James Potter, in a way that appeased her conscience. But she wasn't...

Happy. Why?

The answer came to her after some contemplation: nobody should have to suffer a father who tortured them for no apparent reason.

Not even _him_.


	17. Sixteen: The White Flag

**AN: I know this is super short, and I'm sorry, but school's started up again so I can only write at weekends. And sorry, but I haven't replied to a couple of reviews because I've been trying to churn out this chapter.**

**Thank you guys soo much for getting me to 100 reviews! And take a look at .nerd's new James Lily story. It's really good :)**

**Chapter Sixteen: The White Flag**

If Lily's conscience had been any less Black, she might have felt guiltier that she had suffered ten seconds at the hands of James Potter when she had let him have twenty.

As it was she had been having second thoughts. Perhaps she should only have let him have ten seconds? But having spoken to Alice the moment she got back to Gryffindor Tower she was now certain she had done the right thing.

"You know, I guess I can see why he treats girls like shit," Alice said pensively. "Never had a mum to teach him otherwise, had he?"

"Yeah, but girls seem to _like _it," Lily pointed out dryly. "He's never short of them at any rate."

The two girls were sitting on Alice's bed in the seventh-year girls' dorm. It was almost dinner time. Lily had only had to suffer another day in Grimmauld Place before the Christmas holidays were over, and away from the oppressive air that pervaded the house her muscles were able to loosen.

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway," Alice said bracingly. "Chin up, dear. For all we know he might be a bloody brilliant Head Boy the way he's a bloody brilliant Quidditch Captain."

"Don't think Frank would agree," Lily muttered with a roll of her eyes. "And anyway, he's a _Marauder_. He's the one who loses his House points, not take them away from other people. For God's sake, he spends more time in detention than out of it!"

"Lupin is a Marauder too and he was a decent Head Boy," Alice said.

"Lupin seems to be the only one in their little gang capable of thinking logically," Lily snapped. She rolled off the bed and onto her feet. "Let's go down to dinner now. I'm tired of thinking about him."

Alice readily agreed, and the two girls descended the spiral staircase down to the Great Hall. Arabella and Frank were already seated at their usual spot on the table.

"Hey, Lily! How were your hols?" Frank asked brightly.

"Pretty boring," she lied. "You?"

He launched into a comprehensive account of the past two weeks. Nodding whenever there was an interval, Lily spooned peas into her mouth.

After a few moments she realised that Frank had stopped talking. She looked up. "What's wro - Potter?"

He was standing in front of her, his gaze darting nervously over Gryffindor table. When she craned her neck she saw the rest of the Marauders watching from the Slytherin corner of the Great Hall.

"We need to talk," he said.

She raised an eyebrow. "Do we?"

"About our Head Duties," he clarified. "I'm free now, if you can talk?"

"Sure," she said lazily. Her eyes passed over his messy hair and strong-jawed face, vaguely surprised that she no longer felt the urge to throttle him. He looked stunned at her acceptance. So did the others at her table, with the exception of Alice.

James followed her out of the Great Hall. As she walked Lily could feel hundreds of eyes drilling into her back. She ignored them, holding the door open for him as they went through the entrance. He thanked her warily.

They stood facing each other in the deserted antechamber. Lily made the first move.

"So, since you have Quidditch duties, I'm assuming you want me to do most of the Head work?"

"That won't be necessary," he said. "I'll do everything Remus did."

"Then you'll be doing the weekly points tally, as well as overall report every other week," she said. "I'm in charge of the patrol roster and overall report whenever you're not doing it."

There was a silence. With amusement, Lily realised that he looked almost painfully uncertain. Her new attitude towards him had thrown him off. As he shifted on his feet she watched him unblinkingly, enjoying his discomfort.

Suddenly he blurted, "So you've forgiven me?"

"It would seem so," she said casually. "Perhaps. Probably, since I no longer have the urge to murder you."

"That's... good," he said. "Really good. So we can be civil to each other?"

"Unless the occasion calls for otherwise, yes," she said. "We are to be civil, Potter."

"If we're to be civil you should call me James," he suggested.

She considered it. "Very well. I'm Lily."

He held out his hand and after a moment's hesitation, she reached out to grasp it. Warmth spread along her fingers. Hastily, she dragged her hand back, taking a step away and surreptitiously wiping it on her robes. He grinned at her. For once it was genuine, not one of his manufactured smirks or sneers. The number of times she had seen him smile with feeling was so few that she wondered how she had managed to identify it now.

"Alright then, _Lily_," he said. "I'll be going now. And don't worry, I'll be just as good as Moony - I mean Remus - was." He jammed his hands into his pockets and strode away. Lily turned to go herself, then something struck her with the force of a wrecking ball.

_Moony_.

Her eyes widened, and she started sprinting for the library, gasping out apologies as she knocked people out of her way. Her breath came heavily as she crouched down to look for the correct section.

Werewolves was filed under Magical Creatures. Lily pulled out the first book she saw on the subject and flicked frantically to the right page. She had to know if her suspicions were correct.

_Werewolves, when bitten, transform painfully every full moon, once a month... They appear waxy and unwell for some time afterwards..._

Her breath trembled. There it was, another secret gone, a layer exposed - Remus Lupin was a werewolf. She felt suddenly bad for having treated him so harshly before the Christmas holidays. It really hadn't been his fault, had it? The poor boy. No wonder he looked so ill all the time. Memory of the 'furry little problem' Sirius had spoken of in Grimmauld Place came back to her, and she winced.

She should go apologise to him.

~#~#~

"You can't see him, he's busy," Sirius said hostilely.

"Look, I just want to say sorry for something," Lily said. "It won't take long, I promise."

"Sorry for what?" he asked interestedly.

"None of your business," she fired back. "Well?"

Sirius yawned expansively as he lounged against the dungeon wall. "He's still busy, unless of course you tell me what it is you want to say sorry for."

"I... just wasn't very nice to him a while back," she said carefully. "Will you tell him I'm sorry?"

He eyed her, face blank. She tried not to squirm under his almost chillingly unreadable gaze.

"He doesn't do well with pity," Sirius said abruptly."And if it's blackmail you're hoping for, I'll kill you before you say a word."

Lily's mouth fell open, but she snapped it shut again. How the hell had he known?

"And this business with James," he continued. "You might have been able to put off making your choice, but just remember that he's already had his made for him."

She narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "Figure it out."

Sirius sauntered away, lithe and dangerous, like a panther. She bit her lower lip so hard she drew blood.

Well, at least she had cleared one mystery up: Remus Lupin was a werewolf, and James Potter of all people had been the one to point her in the right direction.


	18. Seventeen: Fickle

**AN: I'M SORRY! I know, I know, I'm a horrible person who deserves to be shot. But I can only write at school, and my friends (One of whom is peering at me right now) don't give me much time to do so. Thank you to .nerd, who sent me an inspiring message. Check out her story Impossibilities!**

**(Go away, Tise.)**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Seventeen: Fickle**

"You don't seem to hate James Potter anymore," Alice commented two weeks after the encounter where they had decided to be 'civil.'

"We're even now, I have no need to," Lily shrugged. "Hey, what's the incantation for a Burning Charm again?"

"_Flagrant_, and I'm still curious," Alice said. "I mean, you don't glare at him in the corridors, but you never return his smiles either. What's going on?"

"Just because I've had my revenge doesn't mean I'm ready to be his friend," the redhead said. "I mean, he still hangs out with Slytherins. Only last week I caught Mulciber and Rosier – shit, I have to go!"

She leapt up, scattering piles of parchment everywhere. Alice regarded her with amusement.

"What's wrong?"

"There was a bloody Prefects' meeting scheduled for today, and I'm late!"

Lily dashed out of the portrait hole and down the corridor, her heart hammering. This was to be the first meeting with James as Head Boy, and she had wanted to get there early to introduce him. But she'd been so caught up in her homework that it had completely slipped her mind.

Stopping outside the classroom door, she straightened her robes and combed her fingers through her glossy hair. She could hear the murmur of voices behind the thick wood. With a deep breath, she went in.

"Sorry I'm late, everyone. I forgot."

Lily flushed as every pair of eyes came to rest on her.

"You're meant to be Head Girl," Slytherin fifth-year Alistair Nott said accusingly.

"Shut it, Nott," a voice said sharply. Lily blinked in surprise at James, who was scowling at him fiercely. "We all make mistakes, and that's no way to talk to your Head Girl."

Nott's mouth fell open. "What the hell? But you hate her!"

"Twenty points from Slytherin," James snapped. He looked at her almost apologetically. Lily flicked her wrist to indicate indifference. She had always known that the Slytherins only tolerated her because of her blood, and now that James had come along with his Potter lineage they would naturally all flock to him. Despite herself something twinged at the fact that he had not denied Nott's accusation.

There was an awkward silence while Nott skulked and nobody seemed to know what to say.

"We'd better get started," Lily said. "First off, anyone got anything to report?"

"Yes," Hufflepuff Astoria Greengrass said. She stood up.

"Attacks on Muggleborns around the castle are increasing and as always it's one very specific group of Slytherins responsible. I want them brought up before Dumbledore so that Muggleborns can sleep safely in their beds at night." She slid her gaze towards the small knot of green-badged teenagers in the corner.

"Excellent point," Lily agreed, also shooting them a filthy look. "However, without evidence there's nothing we can do. So everyone, keep your eyes and ears open and be careful when you're travelling around after dark. Anything else?"

There was a pause, then:

"_He did it_!"

Lily hissed in pain at the sudden high-pitched squeal that rent the air. A tiny girl, no taller than her shoulder, had thrown herself forward in a blur of blonde hair and black robes. She caught a glimpse of a tear-stained red face before there was a loud curse.

"Bloody hell!" James Potter bellowed as the girl struck him full in the stomach. They both went sprawling.

For a moment Lily was in too much shock to anything but watch as the minuscule blonde rammed her fists on his chest. He dwarfed her however, and it was easy for him to lift her off his body and try to toss her away. She hung on with the strength of a limpet.

"_Flagrant_!"

A jet of slender flame shot out of the blonde girl's wand. James' robe ignited.

At that point Lily's customary presence of mind reasserted itself, and she leapt into action.

"_Aguamenti_!"

Her own arc of water countered the fire. It went out, but James made a growl of pain when she tried to pull the smoking material away from his skin. He curled into a ball away from her.

"Someone take him to the Hospital Wing," she ordered. "Gabriel – Henley – you two, levitate him there. Knock him out if need be. Clear?"

They saluted. Morgan Henley flicked his wand and James' prostrate body raised itself to hover off the floor. The three of them left.

"Now, _you_." Lily turned her attention to the blonde girl, who was being restrained by two of the bigger Prefects, although she had given up fighting and hung limp in their arms. "What's wrong? What did you do that for?"

"He did it," she repeated brokenly. "_He did it_."

"Potter? What did he do?"

The girl's blue eyes had been hazy and unfocused with rage but now latched onto Lily with startling clarity. She took an involuntary step back at the glint she saw there.

"You. You're that Black girl, aren't you? The one who's in Gryffindor."

"Yes," Lily admitted. "What do you mean, he did it?"

"It wasn't just him," the girl said flatly. "It was yours, as well. Just seventeen hours ago. Seventeen – the magic number."

The Prefects exchanged glances. Lily wondered if the girl was mad. What was she even talking about?

"No, really. What the hell are you talking about?"

The blonde turned her luminous blonde eyes on her and smiled. "Seventeen hours ago, James Potter and Sirius Black murdered my twin sister."


	19. Eighteen: Blackmail

**AN: Currently in the middle of exam season. It's actually a wonder I updated. Sorry for the late replies to reviews! I do read them, I promise. Enjoy xx**

**Chapter Eighteen: Blackmail**

"Well?"

He kept his back to her, staring out of the window, shoulders hunched. "Well what?"

"Don't give me that," Lily snarled. "You must have heard what happened by now, the Prefects are a bunch of gossips. Did you do it or not?"

At last Sirius turned to look at her. His hands were in his pockets, and his expression could have been described as nonchalant. But she knew him well enough to see the faintest of tremors in his biceps and the careful blankness in his eyes.

"What's it to you?"

"Because you've gone too far, Sirius," she said. "There's a girl sitting in the Hospital Wing right now, doing nothing but laugh and repeat the number seventeen. And then James Potter's in there too with skin being generated over the burns she gave him. Did he deserve it?"

Sirius was quiet for so long that Lily began to think he wouldn't answer. Why would he? Her cousin never bared his soul, least of all to her. She turned to go.

Then, barely audibly:

"He would have, once. Once he would have deserved everything that could be thrown at him. But he's changed. Something's happened. He hasn't laid a finger on anyone for weeks, and now he speaks about trying to get _out_ – "

He fell silent but it was too late. Lily seized upon it. "Out? What do you mean, out?"

"Nothing," he said sullenly.

She was not deterred. "Tell me. Are you in a gang or something? What's going on?"

"Mind your own business, Lily, and I'm telling you this for your own good. Don't get mixed up in something that's too big for you."

"It looks like that's what happened to you and James," she said coldly. "Tell me this at least. James didn't kill the girl, but what about you?"

Suddenly, Sirius smiled, and his face was as cruel and handsome as only a Black's could be.

"She screamed. A lot."

Then he strode past her open-mouthed form and out of sight.

Slowly, Lily slid down one of the walls of the Astronomy Tower, staring out at the star-speckled sky. Detachedly she realised it was snowing. Light flakes drifted lazily down and caught on her black cloak.

Something speared her insides, and she realised with a jolt that it was relief. For some reason, she was pleased that James Potter hadn't been responsible for this catastrophe. Sirius on the other hand...

She sighed tiredly. Her cousin was a force of nature, violent and unpredictable, but he was no liar. And he'd finally gone too far. She could skirt around the issue when it was nothing more than an article in the newspaper, but not when it was this close to home.

Lily needed answers. Immediately. Unfortunately, she had nowhere to get them from. Sirius clearly wouldn't talk, and she doubted James would, even if he wasn't currently in the Hospital Wing. The only other two who could know were Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. Pettigrew she'd never spoken to, whereas Lupin...

She suddenly bolted to her feet. Werewolf. In the recent drama she'd forgotten about her discovery – Lupin was a werewolf! An idea formed. She was not proud about it, but things really had reached a head. There was no other option.

~#~#~

"Lupin."

He looked up from the book he had been reading, blinking shadowed brown eyes at her.

"Lily?"

She nodded, unable to fault him for his wary tone. Given the late hour they were the only two in the Library. Perfect.

"What can I do for you?"

Lily leaned in and looked him in the eye. "I know your secret."

He jerked. "What?"

"I know your secret," she repeated softly. "You're a werewolf."

All the colour drained from his face. "How do you know?"

"That's not important. But there's some things I want to know, and if you don't tell me I'll be forced to... spread the news, as it were."

"Are you threatening me?" Lupin asked slowly.

Lily smiled slightly, comforted by the feeling that she knew what she was doing here. She had an objective. No longer would she be floundering in the dark with nothing more than cryptic warnings.

"I guess you could call it that," she said. "So here it is: meet me tomorrow, in third period, in the Prefects' bathroom. We'll be safe there."

"But I can't skip!" he said incredulously. "We'll get into trouble!"

"Nothing compared to the trouble you'll be in if you don't show," she said, standing up. "Don't be late."

She walked away, a faint sway to her hips. Lily was in control again.


	20. Nineteen: Revelations

**AN: Not nearly enough, I know... thanks to everyone who wished me luck in my exams, I did pretty well! Now in New York on holiday so I'm doing loooads of shopping :) sorry if I haven't had time to reply to your review! Doing one-shot requests if anyone is interested.**

**Without further ado...**

**Chapter Nineteen: Revelations**

Lily had no idea whether she would really have carried out her threat, and was relieved when she didn't have to find out. Remus was sitting ramrod-straight in the sofa in the Prefects' bedroom at the assigned time.

He looked up as she approached. "Hello."

She inclined her head and sat down beside him. There was silence.

"Look," Remus said abruptly, "I... there's some things I can't say, you know?"

Lily frowned. "An Unbreakable Vow, you mean?"

"No," he said. "Loyalty. James and Sirius are my best friends, and I would never betray them."

She was grudgingly impressed. "You told me once that they do what they want, and the rest of the world can go to hell," she said.

"They risk their lives for me every day," Remus said, and something - perhaps the utter conviction in his voice - made Lily bite her lip and accept it.

"Alright," she acquiesced. "You won't be giving away their secrets. I can respect that. But there's still some things I want to know."

"Ask away," he said. She detected amusement in his tone and narrowed her eyes. She was still the one with the upper hand here, wasn't she?

"I overheard James and Sirius one day," Lily began," and they were talking about some sort of group. What is it?"

She had her suspicions, but Remus confirmed them when he said, "The Death Eaters."

Her breath hissed out. "They really have joined the Dark Lord, then?"

"Been his since they were thirteen."

She rubbed absently at the scar James Potter had given her, Isabelle Yaxley's dying screams echoing in her ears.

"James' dad said he messed up the Rookwood killings. What does that mean?"

"He was meant to perform the spell that caused the Muggle school to explode," Remus said. "But he fucked it up somehow, and Sirius had to do it instead. I don't know the specifics."

Lily blinked. Did that mean he _hadn't _killed all those people after all? Not that he was innocent, but she remembered what her cousin had told her.

"_He hasn't laid a finger on anyone for weeks now..."_

_"He wants out..."_

"Remus," she said, her voice low and breathless, "does James... is James trying to get out of the Death Eaters?"

She understood that it was something he would not answer almost instantly, but that didn't matter. She had heard enough of their conversation that night in the dungeon to put the pieces together herself. James wanted to get out, and he was going to die trying, because nobody left the Dark Lord and lived. Lily felt an odd stirring at that thought; not pity, but something very, very close.

The ghost of Isabelle Yaxley drifted through her mind. The pity vanished immediately. A boy who could, at age thirteen, murder one schoolmate and torture another with his best friend did not deserve anything, least of all her sympathy. Remus saw her thoughts on her face and winced.

"Some would say he has it coming, wouldn't they?"

"Perhaps he does," she returned flatly. "One last thing. What's the Order?"

"That, I don't know," he said.

Lily rose. "Thank you. You've been a great help."

"Didn't have a choice, did I?" he said wryly. "So I take it you won't be spreading tales of my furry little problem around school?"

"Your secret is safe with me," she promised.

~#~#~

"Back again, cousin dear?"

Sirius' voice was genteelly mocking, his body sprawled out beneath a beech tree in the grounds by the frozen lake. Despite the frosty January air, he was dressed in nothing more than his school robes. Swathed in her cloak Lily felt almost overdressed. But that was Sirius; he made everyone else feel out of place even when that was him.

"I'm surprised," he said. "You usually go out of your way to avoid me, but here you are finding me out for the second time in two days."

Lily simply tilted her head. She assessed the sight of him, his relaxed posture, elegant good looks, the arrogance exuding from every pore of his body. He would always be a handsome bastard. A sudden vivid mental picture flashed before her eyes - Sirius, his eyes haunted and face gone gaunt from Azkaban, but his with former handsomeness still evident. She shook away the disturbing image.

Her scrutiny had unnerved him. Lily was only able to tell because he had shifted one finger minutely.

"Sirius," she said. "You're looking well."

If this sudden observation had thrown him off he did not show it. "Why, thank you."

"But I suspect," she carried on, "that that would change if you were to be thrown into Azkaban."

He raised a sardonic eyebrow. "Oh?"

"_A school of Muggle children_!" Lily burst out suddenly, unable to bear anymore how her cousin could simply sit there as though nothing was wrong. "It wasn't Augustus Rookwood behind those killings, was it? Not really. Not when you were the one who - who pulled the trigger, as it were."

Sirius sat up, all pretences gone. "Who told you?" he demanded harshly. "I'll skin them alive!"

"You don't need to know that," she said. "But things have reached a head. I'm going to Dumbledore."

She had not previously made that decision, but as soon as she said it Lily knew instinctively that it was the right one. He might be her blood but she could no longer excuse it; something of this magnitude needed to be punished. Sirius eyed her contemplatively.

"You've made your choice, then?" he said. "You'll stand against the Dark Lord?"

"Don't sound so shocked," she said. "After all, that's what James wants to do, isn't it?"

With that parting shot she started to flounce away. Knowing her cousin as well as she did, something occurred to her.

"I wouldn't be too hard on Remus, if I were you," she said over her shoulder. "He knows the meaning of loyalty."

Sirius nodded briefly, acknowledging her words. Lily turned to go.

She had a Hospital Wing to visit.


	21. Twenty: Black Betrayal

**AN: Dedicated to TheBlackAndRedSpirit. Thank you for all the reviews! I promise I will get around to answering them :)**

**Chapter Twenty: Black Betrayal**

"James."

"Lily," he said, levering himself up onto his elbows on his cot in the Hospital Wing. "Lily, you have to believe me. _I didn't do it."_

She had to bite back a smile as she took in his wild, earnest gaze. James Potter had changed much since the beginning of the year. Something had happened, transforming him from the obnoxious, consummate playboy who would never have been caught dead looking like he did now. There were huge purple bruises under his eyes and he looked almost as ill as Lupin before a full moon.

"Don't worry," she said. "I believe you. But do you know who really did it?"

Lily was not surprised when he shook his head. "Sorry, can't help you."

"You're lying," she stated calmly. "Sirius did it."

James sank back down. "That girl - Marlene Prewitt - she told you, then?"

"Not just me. All the Prefects heard after you got taken to the Hospital Wing, and with them being a bunch of gossips, the whole of Hogwarts probably knows too," Lily informed him.

He choked. "But - they'll lynch him!"

"They won't get a chance," she said. James looked slightly more reassured.

"You're right. Sirius is tough - "

"Because," she interrupted, "he'll be in Azkaban."

"_What?_" he blanched. "You're joking!"

"I'm perfectly serious," she said, with a ghost of a smile. "I've found out that it was him behind the Rookwood killings, and I'm done with standing by. I'm telling Dumbledore."

Lily was faking a calm she did not feel. On the inside, she was roiling with emotion; doubt over her decision, anger at her cousin, fear over what the reaction from her family would be. They really would disown her this time. Betraying the family was considered the height of evil by any Black, and even Lily, placed in Gryffindor and called the White Sheep, could not so easily forget the values that had been drummed into her since birth. Nor was she immune to the tiny stabs of shame that occasionally dug into her.

But most of all she felt a sick dread at the thoughts of Bellatrix and Narcissa. Having already lost her sister Andromeda, how terrible would it be if she lost her others?

"Lily!"

She broke out of her inner monologue to refocus her gaze on James. He was examining her with someone surprisingly like concern.

"Are you okay? You just zoned out for a minute there."

"I'm fine," she said briefly.

He accepted it. "I'm afraid you can't tell Dumbledore."

"And why not?"

"He's my best friend. My brother. I'm more his blood than Regulus is. I can't let you have him sent to Azkaban," James said.

"He's my cousin," she countered.

"Doesn't that make it worse?"

"You don't understand," she hissed, moving forward until they were nose-to-nose. "Sirius has done horrible things and I know it, and he needs to be locked up. For the greater good."

He leaned back and watched her. "That's what Grindelwald used to say too. You might be aware that he's in Nurmengard now."

Lily's laugh was mocking. "Speaking of Dark wizards, are we? I would expect nothing less from the boy whose only dream was once to be the Dark Lord's greatest servant."

She stood up, kicked back the wicker chair she had been sitting in, and turned on her heel. She had come to question him about the Order... and _maybe _see how he was doing... but now there was no chance in hell she'd ask him after the argument they'd just had. Perhaps she was wrong, Lily admitted. Someone who wanted to leave the Dark Lord's service could not in good conscience defend Sirius like that.

Part of her was annoyed at him for stirring up her already-rampant self-doubt. To defy that she decided to go to Dumbledore immediately.

The sooner her cousin was behind bars, the better.

~#~#~

"Miss Black," the Headmaster of Hogwarts said. "I've been hoping to see you." He was not smiling.

Lily looked puzzled. "Yes, Professor?"

She had come to tell Dumbledore about Sirius, but sudden fear struck her as she took in his grave expression. Who was it? Bella maybe, Cissy, even Andy -

"It concerns your cousin," he said. "Sirius Black."

She frowned. Had Dumbledore already figured out what she was about to say?

"The House of Black is an old and powerful family," he said. "Your cousin, like you, has the makings to be a herald of the new generation. It has always saddened me to see such bright young minds corrupted from birth by the pureblood-mania."

He leaned forward, eyes piercing. "You were extremely fortunate to escape that mindset, Miss Black. And you are to be commended for that, as is Miss McKinnon for opening your eyes. But your cousin's sight is still clouded."

"What has he done?" Lily asked, finding her voice.

In response he drew out a folded piece of parchment. "I found this on my desk a few minutes ago."

She smoothed out the creases and scanned the lines of graceful, sloping script, spikier but no less elegant than her own.

_I enjoyed my time at Hogwarts, but it is over now, and the sky is the limit for those the Dark Lord favours. A great and terrible age is coming. The world will fall into chaos, and I have every intention of being there to see it through._

_I killed the girl, Albus. But you already knew that. I have often felt that you know more of Hogwarts' goings-on than you let on. You could capture me and have me thrown into Azkaban if you truly wanted to. It may be sacrilege to write this, but the Dark Lord will never be a match for you._

_And Lily, my darling blood-traitor cousin, be wary. The Dementors will rise and the Ministry will be overthrown, and there is nothing in heaven nor Earth that can stop me breaking out if I am put in Azkaban. Then I will come for you. After all, you owe me. _

_Your proud servant,_

_Sirius Orion Black_

Lily finished reading and looked up, irritation mingling with relief. Yes, her cousin had fled, meaning he could not be tried for his crimes, but she knew he had also done this as a favour to her. Her sisters couldn't renounce her if she had done nothing. Sirius had taken note of that.

_After all, you owe me._

"Well?" Dumbledore prompted.

"Are you going to go after him?" she asked, slipping the parchment into her pocket.

"No, Miss Black," he said. "I will not. For a sinner may seek forgiveness at any time, even when at the gates of Hell."

She understood what he meant, but Lily doubted it. James Potter might - _might _- have seen the error of his ways, but if there was one thing a Black never did, it was show remorse for their actions. But unwilling to argue with her Headmaster over this she stood up.

"I'll see you later, Professor."

"Good-day, Miss Black."

As Lily descended the spiral staircase she wondered if James had known beforehand of Sirius' planned escape. The two were so close it was probable, but there had been no time for Sirius to go to the Hospital Wing after her own encounter with him as well as pack and leave Dumbledore a note. Then she remembered the Invisibility Cloak. Who knew what else the Marauders had up their sleeves? She wouldn't be surprised if they had worked out some other method of communication.

She met a harried-looking Remus Lupin at the bottom. "Remus?" she said, eyebrows raised. "What's wrong?"

"Something's happened to Sirius," he said without looking at her. "All his stuff's gone, I'm worried - "

"Calm down," she said, grabbing the back of his robes to stop him continuing on his way to Dumbledore's office. "Read this." She handed him the note.

Lily saw his expression go from shock to resignation as his eyes travelled over the writing. "What do you think?" she asked.

He gave the parchment back and pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "Not much to say, is there? Apart from _thank God _that Sirius has decided Hogwarts students aren't enough entertainment any more. The way he was carrying on, he'd have murdered most of them by Easter."

"At least we could keep an eye on him here," she pointed out. "Out there, there's no stopping him."

"You really aren't like the rest of your family, are you?" he said with grim amusement. Before she could answer, he wheeled around and vanished around the corner.

Lily watched him go. What he had said wasn't quite true. There was another Black who was the White Sheep, and it was about time the two of them had a chat.


End file.
